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Blogs > hotdreamer1000 > While I was Dreaming

More About Sadness  

hotdreamer1000 64M
8677 posts
10/27/2008 5:42 am

Last Read:
10/29/2008 6:45 am
More About Sadness

As I said to cum2kissu2 on my last post, I am hanging in - some days are better than others. It was a tough weekend. But tomorrow Jerry Lee will take my mind of it for while.

I was never very good at dealing with this type of pain, but now I don't even know how to start. When I was sixteen, I had had a few minor girlfriends when I met the girl previously reffered to on my blog as Liz, and described in my post, Basement Benefits.

At one point in our relationship she ditched me, and I remember I didn't deal with it very well. I had quite a few weeks of being really quite unable to function properly, then about four months of missing her like hell and not moving on. In the end I was on the point of feeling I could get over her, when she suddenly threw herself into my arms and told me she always loved me and couldn't believe she had been so stupid. We were together for another two years after that, and it was a wonderful first relationship. When it ended we both knew why and accepted it, and we stayed in touch. (I coped better with that, lol. ) But I guess in the process I had learned not to give up easliy.

Years later when I broke up with The Lioness it hit me harder and lasted longer. She was very very special. And I never understood why it ended. Maybe I do a little now. It took me a long time to give up hope of her, but in the end it just drifted away and Blogging with you guys helped me finally get that into perspective. So did talking to the Blogger I loved.

But somewhere along the line, my ability to cope with this kind of situation had got worse. Many of you know I have not really been alone for quite a while. Maybe I have forgotten how. My life was as close to perfect as you can get apart from the long term lack of sex.

Now I am hurting. I feel I shouldn't be. The Blogger I loved talked to me again today. I still tell her everything even though I am scared to push her further away. She tells me that will not happen. She only wants what is good for me. And I have The Plan. Hearing her voice settles me, but makes me miss her even though she is still there for me. (This may not make sense to you, I realize, lol. ) I miss her needing me.

We all cope differently with different types of sadness. Other pains I endure without fuss, other griefs I accept and move on from. Here I am torn by choices, scared of destroying good things I have. Forgive me - I know you can't give me answers, but I always feel better if at least I am understood.

hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
10/27/2008 7:27 am
    Quoting  :
Hey vt, I have seen you visit before but you never left comments. Thanks for this, I appreciate it.
Dreamer


hippiechick1967 60F  
13154 posts
10/27/2008 3:32 pm

 My life was as close to perfect as you can get apart from the long term lack of sex.
Dude, read that line over a few times.

I miss her needing me.
And it makes perfect sense.
Elevate me...


rm_cum2kissu2 59F
10784 posts
10/27/2008 6:31 pm

 I don't think i can add anything more than what, vtblogger2 and hippiechick1967 have said here,
so I'll quietly send you these>>> along with a very real understanding.

You're in my thoughts Dreamy
Kizza


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
10/28/2008 3:11 am
    Quoting hippiechick1967:
    My life was as close to perfect as you can get apart from the long term lack of sex.
    Dude, read that line over a few times.

    I miss her needing me.
    And it makes perfect sense.
I didn't mean to imply that the lack of sex was anything but a big problem, lol. Although, I know it is hard to remember when visiting this site, but there are other important things you need in life and from a retationship.


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
10/28/2008 3:12 am
    Quoting rm_cum2kissu2:
    I don't think i can add anything more than what, vtblogger2 and hippiechick1967 have said here,
    so I'll quietly send you these>>> along with a very real understanding.

    You're in my thoughts Dreamy
    Kizza
Thanks Kizza.


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