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| Blogs > hotdreamer1000 > While I was Dreaming |
Everything is Temporary Anyway
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Everything is Temporary Anyway Sorry guys but my mind or my battery or my whatever must be flat. I wanted to say hi, and give you all something to think about, but it's just not there at the moment. My mind's a blank. Except maybe this.... I think I don't see enough people. I worry sometimes that I don't really like my friends. Maybe that's why I don't bother seeing that many people. Even lifelong friends. It seems to take more effort these days. I wouldn't mind that, but then we don't seem to be quite on the same wavelength like we used to be, and they don't always understand what I am thinking. That can be even more disappointing than time spent with some half aquaintance I don't expect anything from. And then there have been people who really mattered. I have tried so hard. I've even tried not to try too hard, but it doesn't help. I had a dream the other night in which I was living in a kind of "friends" fantasy world where my friends were around every day. We shared all our little hopes and fears and mundane experiences. Do real people live like that still? Like George, Jerry and Elaine in Seinfeld? I sort of used to. My best friend moved in two doors down the road with his wife. Before that, when I had only recently been a student and had just started work we all met up with friends every evening, sometimes for lunch too. We really shared our lives, and it felt good, though I didn't appreciate it for what it was at the time. But I don't seem to be able to do that any more, even if I had good enough friends to want to. Maybe if I saw people more regularly they would be better friends. Except I do see people all the time really, but I don't get close to them, and I don't want to. Am I making any sense? Maybe that is one reason why I used to love the blogs and emails. It has mirrored life in a weird kind of way. First there was learning how it all worked. The excitement of making new friends. We got pretty close some of us didn't we? There were people who were always around, I knew what they were doing at any time and they knew me. There were blogs which seemed to be almost constantly active; visiting was like going to a party. The there was the sharing, helping each other through, forging real friendships. Okay there were disappointments too. But now, even though you guys are out there, and I think of you as real friends, none of us come around so much. We all have things to do. Just like real life; it takes effort. And I can't be bothered with going out looking for new people. When you do there is always something not to like. I don't look for it, but I can't help seeing it. Sometimes I think Edie Brickell got it right: Me, I'm a part of your circle of friends And we notice you don't come around Me, I think it all depends On you touching ground with us I quit - I give up Nothing's good enough for anybody else, it seems. And being alone is the best way to be When I'm by myself it's the best way to be When I'm all alone it's the best way to be When I'm by myself nobody else can say....... Goodbye |
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Hey there, good to see you. I am not so sure about priorities. Maybe that is part of it. I have no answers as to why I feel this way in my real life, but here on the blogs it seems to be a repeating pattern that most of us go through. At different speeds maybe, but the pattern usually seems the same.
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Friends are overrated. I find it easier and more productive to talk to strangers, when I want to talk to anyone at all. Elevate me... 
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Friends are overrated. I find it easier and more productive to talk to strangers, when I want to talk to anyone at all.
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It is odd how it becomes so easy to close off from friends when actually we need them the most. I have a feeling if they were real friends they wouldn't want us to do that. Or let us.
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Hi there. Yes, I read your blog and it seems like we were thinking the same thing at the same time. I have a theory about this though. I think the blog world simply appears to change as we get used to it. When I first joined, three years ago, I noticed many of the people who had been around for a while wrote blogs about how things weren't like they used to be. But I thought it was great and got completely addicted. I used to visit jakedrake8 and partygirl, and I think a lot of the bloggers I originally got to know were regulars on those great blogs. But they were both gone pretty soon, and looking back, partygirl was only here for six months, her popularity just coincided with when I was first here. I think we all go through a cycle, not just when we first join. After all, there is only a finite number of people you can be friends with, even on line, and when you have made those friends, don't you go looking at the newly written blogs less often? Don't you stop checking out the blogs of the people who also comment on the blogs you like so often too? So you get fewer new watchers and less inspiration. And you feel like everyone has read your sexy stories and you can't re write the same old things for them over and over again. And so you stall. And so do they. And it feels like everything has changed but really it is you, and all the new people thing this is the golden age of blogging and go out looking and find blogs they love, while we keep reading our old friends who hardly ever post anything any more. What do you think?
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