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Blogs > hotdreamer1000 > While I was Dreaming

Does My Bum Look Big In This?  

hotdreamer1000 64M
8677 posts
3/21/2011 1:55 pm

Last Read:
3/28/2011 6:52 am
Does My Bum Look Big In This?

Does my Bum look big in this?

My advice for life? Never ask the man in your life this question. Or any other question about how you look for that matter. All men agree that those kind of questions are bloody hard to answer.

Look at it this way:

You should already know if you look good. If you feel insecure about it, then you won't look your best anyway, even if your clothes are perfect and you're really hotter than a Brazilian beach volleyball team after the third set. And if you genuinely do look sexy, he’s going to tell you anyway, maybe not always in words, but with his eyes, with his actions.

But more than that, suppose you do ask, then will you believe it if he says you look great? How can you be sure he isn't just being tactful? However relaxed the relationship, it is hard for a man to tell a woman that the dress she has put on in the hope of making him lust for her all night, actually makes him wish she was wearing something else. React badly when he gently tells you the truth and it won't be long before he's wishing he was going home with the waitress.

It's not so bad if it's a shopping trip. I quite like being on hand to admire a nicely fitted jacket, and say things like, "I prefer the red one to the yellow," or "ah now that really shows off your figure nicely." In a situation like that, you can even get away with the odd remark along the lines of "that one just doesn’t seem to suit you somehow," when she comes out of the changing room looking like a Christmas decoration that somebody sat on.

But in the cold light in front of the bedroom mirror, just before she takes her man out to a party with her three best friends who she doesn’t really like, it is a wise woman who can let these questions stay unasked, and trusts to the hardness of his cock later on to tell her how good she was looking.

rm_kelidgh 61F
15971 posts
3/21/2011 2:33 pm

 I always assume that if I look horrid - someone will suggest a change... otherwise - I know what flatters me ...

Now - if I am fishing for a compliment (something I rarely do ) then I would expect to get any sort of answer that was given - because it was my insecurities speaking - not my sense.



~ [blog kelidgh]~ I am, indeed


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
3/22/2011 3:45 am
    Quoting rm_kelidgh:
    I always assume that if I look horrid - someone will suggest a change... otherwise - I know what flatters me ...

    Now - if I am fishing for a compliment (something I rarely do ) then I would expect to get any sort of answer that was given - because it was my insecurities speaking - not my sense.

Insecurities cause so much trouble don't they!?


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
3/22/2011 3:46 am
    Quoting  :
Thanks NNS, I think the advice holds even if you are going to like what you hear!


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
3/22/2011 4:24 pm
    Quoting  :
That's true, it could be the same male or female. But in my experience men tend to ask these kinds of questions less often. The real key point is as you say, you believe in sincere compliments and freely give them. In other words, you don't need to be asked. So I assume they are usually believed. That's how it should be.


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
3/23/2011 5:07 am
    Quoting  :
I take your point cougs, but the "hard cock" reference was only meant to add a touch of humour. Of course I can see that validation from above the shoulders is always needed, but what I am saying is that it's not often a good idea to ask for it.


rm_cum2kissu2 59F
10784 posts
3/23/2011 5:48 am

 I know what suits me, that doesn't mean i can always find what suits though.

If i am unsure about an outfit it's usually because of the colour, or because i can't actually see myself from all sides, in that case, if i want honesty, i'd ask a close friend.

Having said that, i think it's a lovely, even wise, thing for a man to compliment a lady when she has taken the time to make herself look nice for him, particularly if he whispers, 'you look so good i'm going to imagine all night how amazing it will be to get you out of that outfit when we get home' (Pretty sure i'd respond favourably to that)

It never hurts for a lady to complement her man when he's made an effort either.

Kizza


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
3/24/2011 4:37 am
    Quoting rm_cum2kissu2:
    I know what suits me, that doesn't mean i can always find what suits though.

    If i am unsure about an outfit it's usually because of the colour, or because i can't actually see myself from all sides, in that case, if i want honesty, i'd ask a close friend.

    Having said that, i think it's a lovely, even wise, thing for a man to compliment a lady when she has taken the time to make herself look nice for him, particularly if he whispers, 'you look so good i'm going to imagine all night how amazing it will be to get you out of that outfit when we get home' (Pretty sure i'd respond favourably to that)

    It never hurts for a lady to complement her man when he's made an effort either.

    Kizza
Ah yes, I couldn't agree more - an unsolicited compliment is always nice!


mystirose 46F
Ask me for a photo

3/24/2011 9:19 pm

 I ask do you like me in this. Normally though if I like it I am happy. On the norm though why bother asking? Most men don't really care, unless they are gay or a metrosexual and at that point I wouldn't really care what they thought


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
3/25/2011 2:08 am
    Quoting mystirose:
    I ask do you like me in this. Normally though if I like it I am happy. On the norm though why bother asking? Most men don't really care, unless they are gay or a metrosexual and at that point I wouldn't really care what they thought
I suppose "do you like me in this" is an improvement, though I think with most women I would still stuggle to find a way to say "no" which was going to be well recieved. But I can't believe most men don't care what their girl friends wear or what they look like.


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
3/25/2011 2:10 am
    Quoting  :
Yes, I suppose by then, what you were wearing earlier might be irrelevant!


VioletDeliriums 56T  
3527 posts
3/27/2011 6:57 am

 Yes. It's true. There are dumb questions -- despite what the self-esteem people would have you believe.


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
3/28/2011 6:49 am
    Quoting  :
There's nothing wrong with it at all Stella - I'm not advising people to be horrid to their partners if their partners ask whether they look good or not - of course we should help to make them feel good about themselves if we can. I'm all in favour of saying "you look beautiful" if someone looks beautiful.

But the point is that you are wise not to ask, especially if you secretly fear that maybe you don't look that great and you don't really want a truthful answer.


hotdreamer1000 64M
12409 posts
3/28/2011 6:52 am
    Quoting VioletDeliriums:
    Yes. It's true. There are dumb questions -- despite what the self-esteem people would have you believe.
Exactly - no one will find self-confidence by asking people who don't dare tell them "no," whether they look good or not. Self-esteem is found by learning how to be self critical, so that you can trust your own judgment about yourself and not rely on being given "validation" by others.


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