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Who do you really want to sleep with?
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Who do you really want to sleep with? It's a question which resides deep down inside of all of us, and which we think about more often than we probably feel we should. The answer isn't always one to which we would admit. We are lucky indeed when the person we dream of lies expectant in our beds. A man aged between say forty and fifty-five who finds that the objects of his deeply seated desires are starting to be women of between say eighteen and thirty, can fairly be said to be having a mid life crisis. I have touched on this point before, but I now find that I really must examine it seriously. Because although I have in no way lost interest in women closer to my own age, I have to admit, at least to myself, that recently I have started to long even more for the arms of a much younger woman. Not that I ever did stop finding youth attractive, but where once I would have been happy to admire, but not seek anything further, I now really do crave some action with someone that age. I must point out that I don't find immature vulnerability attractive – I am not that kind of guy. But I have always loved the kind of sense of adventure and eagerness for life that tends to fade with age. Some women never lose it; you can see it in Zandigal's photography, (or in Geena Davis in the Long Kiss Goodnight, lol ) and I'm not going to stop finding them attractive. But that's just my personality – I have always liked people who refuse to accept their age, who have the nerve to take a risk, even if I don't. And there are lots of younger women who have that self confidence, that willingness to look beyond the obvious, that understanding which gives them emotional maturity in a taut-skinned package. And now, I admit, I want to be close to one of them. How much is it a need to prove to myself that I am not getting too old? Not that much, but maybe a bit. Is it the feeling that although unlikely, it is still just about possible that a much younger woman would find me attractive now, but not for much longer and I would like to make the most of it while I can? Yes, up to a point it is probably that too. Mainly it is the way they seem so unselfconscious, their energy and zest, the way they carry themselves, the way nothing about them is tired, including their outlook on life. It's almost like the life force in the simming pool in Cocoon. It makes you feel new again yourself just to spend time in their company. But to know they long to hear your thoughts, to feel their skin thrill to your touch and want you pressed against them…..what must that be like? I find myself laughing at my thirty-one year old self, who thought that he was somehow overstepping a line with the Lioness – that at twenty-two she ought to be too young for me. How little I understood. But maybe now, if I am honest, there is also an element of safety in a big age gap. No chance someone that age would want to marry and settle down, there would be more of a sense of the secret pleasure about it for her too. Whereas for many woman thirty plus, there would always be the unasked question "where is this leading to?" Am I scared I might well have to deal with potentially life-changing consequences? All this is theory of course. I think. But maybe not. Have I started really looking for such an encounter? I can't be sure. I don't want to be looking, but I think maybe I am. I think if it came my way I might not say no. Willing to get into a mess for the sake of love, not wanting to be stopped by rules which were never quite my own. This is who I am, it's who I have always been. The Blogger Who Loved me understood this, that is why I loved her back. Prairie Girl sometimes tempts me from my protective cocoon. I am not unhappy to be the person who I am – he has a lot of strengths as well as his weaknesses, but I don't want to act in ways which will inevitably hurt others, and I don't want to have to be responsible for the consequences. You always do have to though. Be responsible for your actions. I don't want to be the kind of person who thinks they can avoid their responsibility. And I think if it happened, I might find I didn't want it to be temporary. I would be the one who wanted more, and there again there would be unwelcome consequences. Where does this leave me? I don't really know, frustrated but accepting I suppose. Not lonely, but sometimes alone with my thoughts. I would like someone to share them with, preferably as we lay back against my sofa with her head on my shoulder, with her soft uncomplicated eyes looking into mine and telling me she understands why I want to be with her, and at least for now, she is glad we can be together. |
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I find I am only interested in men around my age; I compare men younger than me to sons, and men older than me to fathers. I get annoyed when all the vanilla dates match me up with men that are 15 years older than me! Why do they think that's okay, but they don't try to foist older women off on younger men?  Elevate me... 
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I find I am only interested in men around my age; I compare men younger than me to sons, and men older than me to fathers. I get annoyed when all the vanilla dates match me up with men that are 15 years older than me! Why do they think that's okay, but they don't try to foist older women off on younger men? Maybe it's because for most men looks are more important than they are for women, but I think there is a general presumption that men usually do prefer younger women (I mean younger in the normal 5-10 year age gap range, rather than the sort of age difference I was talking about in my post, ) and that only very young men are tempted by "older" (meaning thirty to forty ) women. Obviously this is not always true, but it is fairly common. The vanilla sites think that is okay, because for many people it would be.
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absolutely lovely post, Dreemy!... I have one issue with age... if they are more than a couple years younger than me, I won't go 'there'. Don't know why, but in my eyes it just seems icky. lol now.. older is a Whole 'Nother Story... hehehe  Respond to every call that excites Your Spirit ~Rumi  ..
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All agreed, and yes, you are right, you can't think it through!
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Usually I would agree about the mental connection, and of course even with some nubile ninteen year old I would need that too, but I just seem to be a bit fixated in that direction at the moment! In fact I wonder if maybe it is more that I seem to make the mental connection better with someone younger than I usually do with women my own age.
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absolutely lovely post, Dreemy!... I have one issue with age... if they are more than a couple years younger than me, I won't go 'there'. Don't know why, but in my eyes it just seems icky. lol now.. older is a Whole 'Nother Story... hehehe Am I older enough for you? And if not, can you bring your thirty-one year old self over some time soon?
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Thanks mmss. I think one problem I don't have is with recognizing my own motives. I know for example, that in my current way of life, if I am to have any kind of sex it is going to have to be given me by someone who doesn't expect anything constant or permanent, but at the same time wants to always be there for me. (Not very likely to happen, I know. ) But because I am unable, or should I say unwilling, to make changes to be able to give all of me to anyone who wants me, I feel I shouldn't be looking; I feel I would need to let them make all the moves, as if that would somehow absolve me from any responsibility. It has made me realise that a lot of people actually do that all the time, even when there is no real reason for it. You are right that many people, not just men, use all kinds of things as safety nets. The thing is, actually, if you need a safety net, probably the best thing to do is to admit you need one. And I know from my own experience that if someone turns up who is willing to accept that, it is such an amazing gift of trust, that you are liable to fall permanently in love with them almost immediately, lol! It has happened to me more than once, with of course, devastating consequenses!
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LOL.. Pool Boy wasn't THAT young, Dreemy.  and yes, you are purrrrfect, sweetie.. Respond to every call that excites Your Spirit ~Rumi ..
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LOL.. Pool Boy wasn't THAT young, Dreemy. and yes, you are purrrrfect, sweetie..
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'til I can do something better..... Respond to every call that excites Your Spirit ~Rumi ..
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'til I can do something better.....
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I have always been a fully equal opportunity perv and age in either direction has never been a real hindrance for me,...but lately I find myself more intrigued by younger men,...many of them are very interested in being with someone more mature,...some of those reasons range from the impossible age difference which an earlier poster noted might be used to save them from a commitment,...and some of it is sheer practicality, if they get any sort of reasons from and older woman the perception is that their chances of success are greater,...and who's to say that's not true,...In my case I know it is partly a physical attraction, a 30ish male has lost the gangliness of early adulthood, no longer all knobly edged bones, but full filled out, with the meat drawn to the bone,....and there is often a major mental attitude difference between a 30 and a 50 year old man,...the younger often being far more responsive to a strong woman who knows her own mind and seeks her pleasure with assurance. Of course that's only one perspective  Good girls go to heaven,....Bad girls go EVERYWHERE! I love to travel  Come visit my blog tigger678902
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"No chance someone that age would want to marry and settle down, there would be more of a sense of the secret pleasure about it for her too. Whereas for many woman thirty plus, there would always be the unasked question "where is this leading to?" I disagree with you here. When I was young I was so enamored with the idea of love I would fall too easily and cling to the dream of happy ever after. Most my younger women friends are still in this space and the women my own age+ are like me. Not wanting happy ever after, content to enjoy this moment. By my age we've been burnt a few times and are getting a bit wiser in our expectations and clearer in our needs and wants. Sexually I have slept with some beautiful 20 somethings(they seem to like women my age) and while the experience has been a visual and tactile feast it has been somewhat lacking. Men of around my years have moved past the self obsession of youth and are more likely to truly enjoy the act of giving me pleasure rather than just receiving it. In my opinion the best sexual experiences happen when two people join in trying to give each other the best time possible. Youth are sadly lacking in this way.
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"No chance someone that age would want to marry and settle down, there would be more of a sense of the secret pleasure about it for her too. Whereas for many woman thirty plus, there would always be the unasked question "where is this leading to?" I disagree with you here. When I was young I was so enamored with the idea of love I would fall too easily and cling to the dream of happy ever after. Most my younger women friends are still in this space and the women my own age+ are like me. Not wanting happy ever after, content to enjoy this moment. By my age we've been burnt a few times and are getting a bit wiser in our expectations and clearer in our needs and wants. Sexually I have slept with some beautiful 20 somethings(they seem to like women my age) and while the experience has been a visual and tactile feast it has been somewhat lacking. Men of around my years have moved past the self obsession of youth and are more likely to truly enjoy the act of giving me pleasure rather than just receiving it. In my opinion the best sexual experiences happen when two people join in trying to give each other the best time possible. Youth are sadly lacking in this way. As to wanting to settle down, yes you are right, there are lots of younger women who are obsessed with that idea, (although my point was that they are probably not dreaming about settling down with a guy my age, lol, ) but I wonder also if there is a cultural difference between our countries on that point. It used to be more like that here in the UK, but more and more people are marrying later in life here now, and not expecting to settle down in their twenties. Thanks for the comment, come back again soon.
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I have always been a fully equal opportunity perv and age in either direction has never been a real hindrance for me,...but lately I find myself more intrigued by younger men,...many of them are very interested in being with someone more mature,...some of those reasons range from the impossible age difference which an earlier poster noted might be used to save them from a commitment,...and some of it is sheer practicality, if they get any sort of reasons from and older woman the perception is that their chances of success are greater,...and who's to say that's not true,...In my case I know it is partly a physical attraction, a 30ish male has lost the gangliness of early adulthood, no longer all knobly edged bones, but full filled out, with the meat drawn to the bone,....and there is often a major mental attitude difference between a 30 and a 50 year old man,...the younger often being far more responsive to a strong woman who knows her own mind and seeks her pleasure with assurance. Of course that's only one perspective I'm interested in your point about the difference in men's attitudes towards strong women as they get older; I can't say I have noticed that happening to me, but then I have always been drawn to independent minded women.......
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I could almost hear your heartbeat quicken as you said "filled out with the meat drawn to the bone," Lol. Well hell yes, that sounds like a man in his prime - why wouldn't you be attracted to that! I'm interested in your point about the difference in men's attitudes towards strong women as they get older; I can't say I have noticed that happening to me, but then I have always been drawn to independent minded women....... my point though poorly made, was about a genrational difference in attitudes between men who are curretnly in their fifties and men wh are currently around 30. In my experience the 50s are a bit more tied to traditional gender roles while the younger men are more accepting of different roles for women,...of course this is related to the women who raised these two groups and the cultural moors, I suspect there ae also differences based on culture and socio-economic factors. In further reflection on this topic I find that I have rarely spent a great deal of time with men really close to my own age. Most of my serious long term relationships have been with older men, 8 years or more in the difference in age,...and one major realtionship with a younger man,...though the younger men feature heavily in brief torrid affairs,...translation,...they are incredibly fun to play with but something is lacking for me in the longterm interest department,...of course perhaps this has more to do with the particular boys I choose to play with than the group as a whole. Good girls go to heaven,....Bad girls go EVERYWHERE! I love to travel Come visit my blog tigger678902
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lol I'm quite certain there was more than one physiological response when I phrased that thought in my head and committed it to text,... my point though poorly made, was about a genrational difference in attitudes between men who are curretnly in their fifties and men wh are currently around 30. In my experience the 50s are a bit more tied to traditional gender roles while the younger men are more accepting of different roles for women,...of course this is related to the women who raised these two groups and the cultural moors, I suspect there ae also differences based on culture and socio-economic factors. In further reflection on this topic I find that I have rarely spent a great deal of time with men really close to my own age. Most of my serious long term relationships have been with older men, 8 years or more in the difference in age,...and one major realtionship with a younger man,...though the younger men feature heavily in brief torrid affairs,...translation,...they are incredibly fun to play with but something is lacking for me in the longterm interest department,...of course perhaps this has more to do with the particular boys I choose to play with than the group as a whole. I also agree, that should I be lucky enough to share a "brief torrid affair" with a much younger woman at any time in the near future, (lol ) then I too might well find there was less of interest from a long term viewpoint. Although I can think of a couple of younger women (admittedly 25 plus, but still a lot younger than me ) who I have known for some time, and still find very interesting.
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