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Only Half the Story
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Only Half the Story Today someone asked in an email "are you happy?" or words to that effect. I'm glad it was in an email because it gave me time to think about it. I will probably answer "yes, everything is going really well," or something like that. But that will be only half the story. The thing is, I would like to answer more fully. This person cares, (I think ) and deserves to know how I am really feeling. The problem is, I don't really know. Broadly speaking I am happy, but most of my life I have had an ill-defined underlying discontent, and lately it seems more acute somehow. Certainly I have no real reason to be unhappy. Bad things have not happened. I have just about got enough money to do the things I want to do, and although I don't love my work, I don't hate it either and it is rarely particularly stressful. I have other projects I enjoy. I am not ill. Compared to so many people, I am incredibly lucky, but deep down I feel........unenthusiastic. I don't know whether it is because I am tired of the way I live and would like a change of lifestyle, or whether it is because feel I am not making the most of the lifestyle I have got. But you don't want to burden your friends with some nameless depression do you? As V says, you put on a brave face, because no one wants to spend time with a sympathy seeker, and if it is someone mean and selfish you don't want to show them a weakness to work on, and if it is someone you love, you don't want to bring them down, especially if there is nothing they could have done to help. And I can't really see what anyone could do to help. Unless it was someone extremely sexy, in a very horny mood and skimpy clothing with long slim arms and gorgeous breasts who happened to find me irresistibly attractive and........that might help. Temporarily at least. Sorry, I am digressing, but it made me smile so that's a good thing. Where was I? Oh yes. Being ambivalent about happiness. So do I say to my friends, "No, I'm not really happy at the moment, but I am not sure why?" Or just keep up the pretence on the basis that most of the time I am, really mostly happy. Maybe I am worried that if I open up the conversation they might get me closer to the truth of the subject, and I might realise I need to make changes I don't want to make. Because some people are good at saying "well if you aren't happy, just change things, anything, and see what that's like." I know people who have done this, and it works for them. Because as one door closes another opens. But I really hate closing doors. Especially when it is to a room I really love being in. The one place which always makes me feel happy. |
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No one can be happy all the time. When I'm having my down time, I have a couple of great friends that are there for me. Sometimes you can't change things no matter how hard you try, so you keep going knowing that tomorrow might be better.  
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No one can be happy all the time. When I'm having my down time, I have a couple of great friends that are there for me. Sometimes you can't change things no matter how hard you try, so you keep going knowing that tomorrow might be better.
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Whenever I get somewhat of an undefined sense of the blues, I change my hair! Isn't that what most women do?  I have things in my life that are unsatisfactory but do not fall into the category of being able to change. As an example...I have to work but still yearn to be the stay-at-home parent I was supposed to be. This brings me the most dissatisfaction with my world. But my life is not in such a position for me to be able to change this. So if I'm asked if I'm happy, I usually answer the question about things that do make me happy and avoid the discussion of the fact that I have to work. I do like what I do, so I comment on that. I like my co-workers as nice human beings. I like working out and training, etc. This round-a-bout answer works well. The work thing will never go away until I retire. So why perpetually mention that in conversation, unless we are having that kind of deep conversation. Some things in life are meant to be endured alone for the most part. Was that too depressing of a statement? Since there is no solution to some of these things, It doesn't really make me feel any better to tell others about how frustrating my life can be and only serves to remind me that parts of my life are miserable. I usually keep it to myself. Sorry...this got long-winded. Nice to "see" you Dreamer.
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This is what I live by . :; LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT TO BE . Make it sad it will be sad make it happy vice versa .
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This is what I live by . :; LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT TO BE . Make it sad it will be sad make it happy vice versa .
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Whenever I get somewhat of an undefined sense of the blues, I change my hair! Isn't that what most women do? I have things in my life that are unsatisfactory but do not fall into the category of being able to change. As an example...I have to work but still yearn to be the stay-at-home parent I was supposed to be. This brings me the most dissatisfaction with my world. But my life is not in such a position for me to be able to change this. So if I'm asked if I'm happy, I usually answer the question about things that do make me happy and avoid the discussion of the fact that I have to work. I do like what I do, so I comment on that. I like my co-workers as nice human beings. I like working out and training, etc. This round-a-bout answer works well. The work thing will never go away until I retire. So why perpetually mention that in conversation, unless we are having that kind of deep conversation. Some things in life are meant to be endured alone for the most part. Was that too depressing of a statement? Since there is no solution to some of these things, It doesn't really make me feel any better to tell others about how frustrating my life can be and only serves to remind me that parts of my life are miserable. I usually keep it to myself. Sorry...this got long-winded. Nice to "see" you Dreamer. But you describe the feeling pretty well here - there is no point in grumbling about the same old things over and over, no one wants to listen to that. I think my problem is that I have the kind of life which I really could change, in pretty much any way I want, and I sometimes feel that I waste that amazing good fortune by not really knowing quite what I actually do want!
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"Smacking bubble gum"? I don't really know what that means (from the context I guess it means always happy, ) but it sounds like a euphemism for masturbation!
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i feel the same way most of the time. Just under the Happy Zone. I do know where a lot of my discontent is coming from though. So, i've been trying harder to focus on changing the things i can. That starts with changing how my mind sees things. I used to feel like this house i live in, isn't mine. Like i was just here with my stuff, and my flight home has been delayed endlessly. Well, i told myself, that may be true, but this waiting room is in the shape of a house, make it yours for the time you're in it, because you deserve better and so do your children. Truth is, i do have the ability to make sure the house isn't a dump. Of course, it's going to take a while and my flight may arrive before the house is perfect, but, i'm not letting things fall apart anymore, and that helps to get me out of my Not-Really-Happy place. just for a while. for me, the key is to keep moving. Slumps are going to happen. But if i stop to feel sorry for myself, or wonder why i failed again, i get stuck. So, i just make note of it, and move on. And I don't talk about such things with folks irl because that would make them think they need to keep me accountable, and i'd rather keep myself accountable and do things on my own terms. lol i'm just not a team player. --Author Unknown
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