Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > minhtho1997 > My Blog |
How to say "No"...
|
How to say "No"... We're newcomers & it's the very first time we join the blogland. Hope you'll not fed up with reading it. We've started to find friends on Gay Hookup Zone just few months ago & got to know lots of interesting people here. Actually when finishing our profile we did not believe that we can have known such lovely couples & men like that, who shared with us their understanding, experiences & passion. That helped our sex life much more enjoyable & we really appreciate it. But of course during the time, we met some people that, by some reasons, were not enough a turn-on to us. In such circumstances, how to say "No" was our doubtfulness, in term of being sure that we would not hurt them. Once we got to know a nice mix couple. We exchanged several emails before decided to share photos. They both look very nice & sexy... Just a minor problem that my wife dislikes the fat guys (we know that is was our mistake when we did not stated it clearly on our profile as well as on emails). Therefore, we decline the invitation in an open & honest way (as it's our character). Unfortunately we realized that the man was extremely disappointed. Frankly we feel very sorry about that. Learning from this lesson, in the next few times we just told people (who were not our perfect match) that we were too busy to write email or we were still thinking & haven't decided yet. But another problem occurred & it was even worse, because they looked upon us as photos collectors or not a real couple... That's not what we're at all  So please could you share with us from your experiences, if you don't mind, how to say "No" perfectly & to make the friends come to no mental harm. Thank you for reading & any comment added. M&T P/S: If you have any private comment or advice to tell us, please feel free to drop us a line in our private inbox at [Y] with the same user name here minhtho1997. You're all welcome & we'll reply you shortly. Thanks & cheers  |
|||
3/10/2008 3:46 am |
Best way for us is to simply say "We don't feel we're a match at this time". Now..did you judge them by pic alone or had you met them?..we will atleast try to arange a meet at a public place and go from there. We've had some that by their pic we weren't really interested in, but after meeting them we made great friends (with orr without benifits). I'd rather be riding and thinking of God, than sitting in church, thinking about riding 
| ||
|
Hi B_goat694u, Thanks to your kind advice. We'll try the suggestion. We love the saying you have quoted "rater be riding and thinking of God, than sitting in church, thinking about riding". Cheers!M&T
| ||
3/11/2008 2:05 am |
Hi B_goat694u, Thanks to your kind advice. We'll try the suggestion. We love the saying you have quoted "rater be riding and thinking of God, than sitting in church, thinking about riding". Cheers!M&T I'd rather be riding and thinking of God, than sitting in church, thinking about riding
| ||
|
Thanks Erwan, you might be right. We'll try our best to enjoy with others, not to hurt them coz we really never wanna do that. Wish we'll have chance to see each others very soon. Cheers/M&T
| ||
3/14/2008 10:39 pm |
Hi minhtho1997! Your topic is very interesting. So, i dont know how to tell you about me. Wish we'll meet each others soon. Best wish! 
| ||
3/25/2008 10:20 am |
Hi babe!
| ||
|
imo, just a few options - say "no" directly. i would prefer this, letting ppl know what to expect be4hand would not hurt them as much. - say any "nice" and non-related reason. not of my type but ppl do - say nothing, ppl will understand. i hate this but i had to do sometimes trailang
| ||
|
Thanks babegirl090 & trailang69, you're so nice to add comments to our blog. Nice being friend with you. Cheers! Minh & Tho
| ||
1 post 4/10/2008 10:27 am |
Goi cho em 0949418357, tau nhanh 50 K, qua dem 250 K. Em cung o Hn ne.
| ||
|
Hmm we should meet up when we get there..
| ||
4/22/2008 11:03 am |
Generally speaking and about sex, any person (and in swinging a couple acts like a single person) has the right to say "no" without further explanations. In the swinging scene or open sexuality is even better. One of the advantages of this community is that one doesn't need a lot of explanations about wanting sex. Sameways, one doesn't need so many to say no. There's no need to tell the detailed truth, just the result: "You are not our type" or "We don't feel like it right now, but maybe in the future" or in swinging, "We are not confortable with your way of swinging". Which is actually what happens. But you should try to avoid creating an "investment" feeling in your partners, requiring too many pics or time. Just our thoughts.
| ||
|
Hi antioxidantz, strongly agree with u that we should set up a meeting upon yr coming here  . Just inform us in advance, friend!Cheers! M&T
| ||
|
Thanks mario22632008, you're so nice to add comment to our blog. Nice being friend with you. Cheers! M&T
| ||
|
Thanks chesshyre! We do agree with yr comment & suppose to try... It's nice to know u & hope we'll have chance to meet up soon. Thanks & Cheers! M&T
| ||
5/15/2008 8:11 pm |
Hi Minh&Tho, I find you guys to be a nice couple inside and out. For me, we meet and have sex to enjoy each other. Therfore, you need to find someone that you like to be with or have some chemistry. Don't feel bad about that. You are here to enjoy yourself, not here to stick into any obligation or contract. Just say "sorry, we are not interested" Btw, i hope to have a chance to have fun with you guys oneday and i do walk out with a smile even if you guy so no. Enjoy life!
| ||
|
Taking advantage of rainy sunday in Paris. We believe honesty if very important in this "dating" system. We met some couples where the girl was 20 years and 20 kgs older than the pic they sent us; we just said hello, byebye. So photos can be deceptive. Amazing the number of times where people got extra kilos, extra years and do not look as attractive as the artistic pics. We always insist on getting recent pics. No need to exchange many emails; if they are reluctant to send recent pics then it is a bad sign. But we also met many couples where pics were only OK and they were older than us, but they turned out elegant, funny and great sex. There, a couple of emails (but not a dozen) help as sex is not only physical but also a bit cerebral. Our intuition has rarely failed us. But I guess that we all want a minimum of physical attraction. We go to VN once a year.
| ||
6/17/2008 6:25 pm |
sent you an email. hope to hear from you soon!
| ||
|
hi a Minh. It's been quite sometime not visiting your blog. Up your entry To toutou4575: not sending pics may not be a bad sign, someone just not feel confident with their pics floating around. cheers trailang
| ||
7/17/2008 11:44 pm |
1 post 7/18/2008 2:42 pm [Add a Comment] [quote] We are not selecting our life time partner here and sometimes there are couples who are very strict in requirements or very selfish and I feel they will never get the partners they want. Nevertheless, we all know that we are enjoying our new life style based on the mutual underatanding and if something is not what we want or expecting, it is our choice. Some couple who is good to one couple may not be ideal to other couple. Even withing the couple, we may have a different opinion about the partners. So, no worries and we are all matured adult and we understand that. Take it easy and enjoy your life
| ||
|
Hi M&T You already have all the advise you need but I wanted to say that honesty is nearly always best but also directness is usually advised. When contacted by people we are not interested in we usually reply honestly yet sensitively and we often get a thanks in return. Most people appreciate it. No-one wants to waste time and those that do certainly need to be directly removed from your online life. Pics early on is also a good idea unless physical attraction does not matter to those involved. We originally placed more importance on physical attraction than we do now, although it is still relevant. However we had a great experience meeting someone without pics, someone who we probably would have politely rejected had we seen his pics first. We got to know him through mail and enjoyed his company when we met and had a great time sexually. Sorry, that's me getting side-tracked. Well, you seem like a lovely couple, really genuine and decent people. Please take a look at our profile and if you like what you find then we would be happy to accept your invitation to join your group. If not, then take care and enjoy your Gay Hookup Zone experience. Paul x
| ||
8/3/2008 8:22 am |
Many interesting solutions stated above. I have found that trying not to hurt someone's feelings, as there are many who cannot handle rejection, I do a auto reply that states that if the interest is there, I will reply back as soon as possible. Getting tied up with repeated emails becomes too sensitive and soon you get locked up in the guilt and it takes the fun out of meeting the real people you want to be with. Thank you and I wish the best for both of you in your new endeavors..playing with others can be fun with the right mix! txmale77
| ||
|
Thanks for all comments you kindly helped us... It's nice to know you all here & hope we'll have chance to meet up soon... Somewhere, who know Thanks with kisses! M&T
| ||
|
I prefer people say "no" directly to me. Because truth is "sometimes" is the best thing, but not always! you can simply say, "Thank you but we are not interested." ... people understand that. I know that I do.
| ||
|
I prefer people say "no" directly to me. Because truth is "sometimes" is the best thing, but not always! you can simply say, "Thank you but we are not interested." ... people understand that. I know that I do. Wishing u all the best & wanna see u anytime u come to Hanoi - Vietnam. Just drop us lines (pics are highly appreciated) at: minhtho1997atYah00d0tc0m U're more than welcome , dear friend...Kisses. M&T
| ||
12/5/2008 1:12 pm |
Hello M & T, This is a very well written and thought out Blog and a common problem that all of us have when we play in this arena. I am a single guy, professional,well traveled,have been married threeeee Times! I have meet and had affairs with single, married women and couples and when I meet some of them on the first date, I told myself, how in the heck did I ever get myself in this kind of sitiuation! So, I found out that being honest and being up front with folks are always the best way, at least it will give you peace of mind; However, don't think that all the other folks will be honest with you! This past summer, I had an assignment in Arizona; so I told this Lady that had sent me some photos (which I found out that they were 8 years old). So I made a date with her one night and when I seen her open the door and she looked as though she had weighted 70 pounds more than she did in the photos. When I approached her about the pictures and how she much different she looked in the pictures, she told me that she hadn't looked like that in 6 years! I said why didn't you tell me,she said, would you have come to see me.....! I know how you feel sweetness! Warmest Regards, Ike
|
Become a member to create a blog
