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| Blogs > rm_talldarkavg1 > AFF #1 Source for Useless Info |
Is A 14 Inch Penis Too Big ?
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Is A 14 Inch Penis Too Big ? I just got home after my flight from Philadelphia where I managed to obtain a very rare $5 bill. Actually, I was supposed to get last night but our plane was picketed by a Right To Life group after the pilot aborted a takeoff, thus the delay. The $5 bill is pictured left and if you click it you can appreciate the beauty of this rare find. It is the scare Mike Tyson 5. Lincoln is shown with all the fine detail noogies one acquires after pretty much any contact with Tyson. The exact value is yet to be determined, however Robin Givens is computing it. It has been brought to my attention that there just may be a couple of men on this site that really do not understand how to tactfully approach a lady. No fears mate, Tall has some pointers for a successful encounter with the gentle gender. These tips are from my personal experience. First, be sincere. Do not lie or attempt to deceive her. You may be surprised to know that several women can tell when you're faking an erection. Just don't do it! Most penises do have Popsicle sticks and duct tape. Talk to your lady during the sex act. Talk softly and directly into her ear as you slowly enter and exit her. Talk about how good you feel, how it's because of her, how hot she makes you. Soon, she will say, "deeper!" At that moment I start talking about Nietzsche. Nothing makes her hotter than the depth of spontaneous Existentialism. Guys, go to your local paint store and spend 80 bucks on a one gallon electric paint mixer. You know, the ones that shake the can. Now...when you get her into bed, seductively go down on her and secretly tighten that sucker around your head. Take a deep breath. Squint. Turn it on. Trust me...this will be some oral that will get you into her All-Star Hall of Fame! One of my all-time most successful techniques requires a couple props. An electric extension cord with bare wires and a steam powered train whistle. Hide this stuff in the bedroom. Secretly place one bare wire under her and tape the other to your scrotum. When she starts her orgasm plug in the wire and toot the train whistle. She'll think it's her cumming! Leave the current on for 5 seconds and quickly plug and unplug it for another 5 seconds. Repeat 45 times. Guaranteed to be the longest orgasm she ever had! P.S. your scrotum will usually stop smoking in a few minutes. Other great oral techniques involve wiggling your ears and flaring your nostrils. Do not attempt the advanced Samatha Stevens nostril move until you have practiced! If you have questions, contact me.  [blog talldarkavg1] |
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Beautiful and smart. Impressive. [blog talldarkavg1]
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I agree with Stevie Nicks. I would rather have the rare five dollar bill. And if she is free for coffee, I'd like to discuss existentialism and it's effect post modern dance bands.
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9/21/2008 11:33 am |
 I come here for the deep thoughts and this is what I get!  roaming the cyber streets of blogland  
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I think I've dated a couple of guys post-paint mixer. That would explain their scrambled brains at least. Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.
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 Just FYI -- for me personally, YEAH 14 Inches is TOO big. Give me the money instead!! LOL....you delivered again Tall!!! Are you sure you don't have a bare wire taped to your fingers and the other secretly to my funny bone?? It tickles every time I see your blog!!
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I agree with Stevie Nicks. I would rather have the rare five dollar bill. And if she is free for coffee, I'd like to discuss existentialism and it's effect post modern dance bands. [blog talldarkavg1]
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I come here for the deep thoughts and this is what I get! [blog talldarkavg1]
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I think I've dated a couple of guys post-paint mixer. That would explain their scrambled brains at least. [blog talldarkavg1]
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Just FYI -- for me personally, YEAH 14 Inches is TOO big. Give me the money instead!! LOL....you delivered again Tall!!! Are you sure you don't have a bare wire taped to your fingers and the other secretly to my funny bone?? It tickles every time I see your blog!![blog talldarkavg1]
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May The Force be with you. And, more importantly, her! [blog talldarkavg1]
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9/21/2008 6:08 pm |
That whistle and paint can thingy is diabolical!!!!
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Hope the value of that fiver exceeds your expectations But just in case it doesnt...BR549   .....m.
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That whistle and paint can thingy is diabolical!!!! one tries.[blog talldarkavg1]
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Hope the value of that fiver exceeds your expectations But just in case it doesnt...BR549 .....m.[blog talldarkavg1]
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Nothin' like an Indiana Seminar to straighten out the troops... Now work up a plan for our government...they oculd use a few tricks too...especially in the currency department Just a little food for thought............. If you really want to be happy, nobody can stop you... {=}
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Nothin' like an Indiana Seminar to straighten out the troops... Now work up a plan for our government...they oculd use a few tricks too...especially in the currency department [blog talldarkavg1]
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9/21/2008 11:52 pm |
If I can't have the 5 dollar scare Mike Tyson 5 'cause Erotica's so quick, AND the man who wrote: "You may be surprised to know that several women can tell when you're faking an erection." I think I'll just stick with the man who wrote: "You may be surprised to know that several women can tell when you're faking an erection." He'll always find another 5 dollar scare Mike Tyson 5. or even better a Simon Templar 6 dollar bill that they tried out back in 1932 remember? Think you wouda been about 21 then. They were just trying out the 12" 12 cents thang. Oh YOU are CUTE! Sooooo nice to finally spend some time with you.  Life is measured by the number of time’s one’s soul is stirred. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
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Quoting Tall: "Most penises do have Popsicle sticks and duct tape."  I'm shocked, I hadn't been aware that most penises have popsicle sticks and duct tape! What kind of men have I been with, none of them came equipped like that!?!  Blessed Be
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9/22/2008 7:44 am |
Damn those are some hot tips..might have to get me one of those paint mixers and duct tape a banana to it..
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9/22/2008 3:02 pm |
Tall, I haven't been gettin' your news column for a few months. 'Guess I forgot to pay the subscription fee. 'Sorry for that oversight on my part. Paint can mixer! Right! I'm on my way to the hardware store!
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have hospitalized myself many times in the name of love. [blog talldarkavg1]
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thank you. I am living proof that not all lobotomies should be avoided. [blog talldarkavg1]
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If I can't have the 5 dollar scare Mike Tyson 5 'cause Erotica's so quick, AND the man who wrote: "You may be surprised to know that several women can tell when you're faking an erection." I think I'll just stick with the man who wrote: "You may be surprised to know that several women can tell when you're faking an erection." He'll always find another 5 dollar scare Mike Tyson 5. or even better a Simon Templar 6 dollar bill that they tried out back in 1932 remember? Think you wouda been about 21 then. They were just trying out the 12" 12 cents thang. Oh YOU are CUTE! Sooooo nice to finally spend some time with you. [blog talldarkavg1]
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Quoting Tall: "Most penises do have Popsicle sticks and duct tape." I'm shocked, I hadn't been aware that most penises have popsicle sticks and duct tape! What kind of men have I been with, none of them came equipped like that!?![blog talldarkavg1]
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Damn those are some hot tips..might have to get me one of those paint mixers and duct tape a banana to it.. [blog talldarkavg1]
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