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Advice You Just Cannot Live Without
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Advice You Just Cannot Live Without As Blogville's oldest resident, and part-time philanthropist (I donate sunglasses to the blind and earmuffs to the deaf), it might be helpful for me to share some of my life's experience with the younger folks here in an effort to save you the time and heartache of learning these things on your own. You can pull your own teeth. However, circumcisions are best left to the professionals. If you are in a public movie theatre and decide to light a fart...make sure there is not a large man with an afro seated in front of you. If you are in a public movie theatre and are being pummeled by a large man with a singed afro...attempting to speak jive will not improve your situation. When being carried into an emergency room, do not arm signal a left turn as this will cause an additional injury when passing through the automatic doors. Urinal cakes taste no better ala-mode. Nursing your newborn is best done by the mother. The doggie pen probably isn't a good substitute for a playpen. Do not laugh at how much crap your ex missed until AFTER the judge slams the gavel. After your divorce is final...do not do a victory dance, high-five your lawyer, and spike the Bible. During a job interview, if you are asked "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?", DO NOT answer, "Hopefully laid up at home with a job-related injury". If captured by space aliens and invited to dinner...don't try the Kreplach leeches! If pou are a male, never attempt to bluff a member of Dykes On Bikes. You can kill a vampire by thrusting a Ribeye into it's chest. However, make sure it is a wooden steak. Hope this helps on your journey.  [blog talldarkavg1] |
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 some great advice as always  I'm a   and i'm here to stay
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LMAO...damn typos [blog talldarkavg1]
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some great advice as always [blog talldarkavg1]
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When they ask me where I see myself in 5 years, I say this side of the grass. Would you like fries with that? Peace and love is where it's at.
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When they ask me where I see myself in 5 years, I say this side of the grass. Would you like fries with that?  super-size me please[blog talldarkavg1]
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When they ask one old man who was applying for the greeter at Wal-Mart job (the end of the freakin' line if you ask ME ), where he thought he'd LIKE to be in five years, he remarked "Filthy rich, living in Maui and drinking mai-tais on the beach with my trophy wife." Ya gotta think outside that ol' box or you'll soon be IN it...
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Nursing your newborn is best done by the mother. Reminds me of a texting conversation I had earlier today with a friend. We were talking about his newborn nephew and how he said the baby could end up being a handful for the parents, since the grandparents were likely to spoil him. I said he's young enough just stick a bottle or boob in his mouth and he'll be happy. Some things about men never change. Have tongue, will use it. Repeatedly.
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10/6/2008 8:55 am |
If you are in a public movie theatre and decide to light a fart...make sure there is not a large man with an afro seated in front of you. If you are in a public movie theatre and are being pummeled by a large man with a singed afro...attempting to speak jive will not improve your situation. thanks now I'm cleaning up coffeeroaming the cyber streets of blogland  
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When they ask one old man who was applying for the greeter at Wal-Mart job (the end of the freakin' line if you ask ME ), where he thought he'd LIKE to be in five years, he remarked "Filthy rich, living in Maui and drinking mai-tais on the beach with my trophy wife." Ya gotta think outside that ol' box or you'll soon be IN it... [blog talldarkavg1]
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Nursing your newborn is best done by the mother. Reminds me of a texting conversation I had earlier today with a friend. We were talking about his newborn nephew and how he said the baby could end up being a handful for the parents, since the grandparents were likely to spoil him. I said he's young enough just stick a bottle or boob in his mouth and he'll be happy. Some things about men never change. [blog talldarkavg1]
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Indeed words to live by [blog talldarkavg1]
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Great advice. I see you are a man of many misguided experiences. Your blog is so much fun!!!!! "Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened." 
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Thank you. I'm here for the people. [blog talldarkavg1]
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Great advice. I see you are a man of many misguided experiences. Your blog is so much fun!!!!! [blog talldarkavg1]
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10/6/2008 5:44 pm |
Now I know why my ex started laughing hysterically as the judge slammed the gavel at our final divorce hearing. Can I reopen the proceedings? 
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Now I know why my ex started laughing hysterically as the judge slammed the gavel at our final divorce hearing. Can I reopen the proceedings? [blog talldarkavg1]
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one tries [blog talldarkavg1]
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If you are in a public movie theatre and decide to light a fart...make sure there is not a large man with an afro seated in front of you. If you are in a public movie theatre and are being pummeled by a large man with a singed afro...attempting to speak jive will not improve your situation. thanks now I'm cleaning up coffee[blog talldarkavg1]
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