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| Blogs > tazzerman2000 > Cosmic Debris Part Three! |
Asking for it...
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Asking for it...  I was having a discussion with a friend yesterday about Gay Hookup Zone and in particular, women on Gay Hookup Zone who post full 'spread' pics of themselves, have names like comefuckmyassnow or somesuch etc and whether or not they should EXPECT to be treated rudely or have guys or whomever, looking at them as 'sluts' and treating them as such. My contention is simple, we all should treat EVERYONE out here with respect. Period. I don't care what you call yourself or what kind of pictures you choose to post, there is NEVER a reason or time for someone to treat someone else in a deragotory, rude manner. My friend disagrees and basically says that anybody posting pictures like that and/or choosing an ID like that are just ASKING for it. Now I conced the point that there are a lot of folks, mainly guys, who are MORE than capable of treating people out here like shit and of course, posting full spread pussy pics isn't gonna help that situation at all but just because you do, does that mean you're fair game for that kind of treatment? Further, this IS a sex site afterall but we all know that a lot of folks are looking for a whole lot more out here. Are their expectations out of line? Should they leave and try finding what they're looking for elsewhere? I don't think so.. What are your thoughts?  -tm |
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I know this isn't a question for me, but I want to answer. I have always hated the 'double standard' that men are studs and women are sluts, I cannot say that enough. In regard though to men's photos and c*ck shots.. I personally don't think they are sluts or b*tches who deserve to be treated as one, although most of those men would LOVE to be treated like a whore and have tons of sex..lol I personally find it rude and insulting that they feel I need to have a penis shoved at me FIRST rather than a polite hello and a smiling face photo. Every man has a penis, even Quasimodo!!! I say that all the time. Contrary to many people's beliefs we as humans do not go around with our faces shoved into crotches, male OR female, we actually stand upright and sit upright and are looking you IN THE FACE for the most part for almost the entire day. I am not trying to sound shallow, I know personality and all that plays into what attracts people, but we have to be realistic too. LOOKS DO play a part in our attractions. It is the FIRST thing we have i.e. you walk into a room and LOOK around. I have yet to find a person that would go to a party, bar, any location and search out the ugliest person they can find and approach them hoping they have a good personality. We inherently go to what attracts us, not what repels us folks. I repeat, all men have dicks, don't BE a dick, even Quasimodo had a dick. So to me.. it is not the way to make a 1st impression is to shove out genitals... but that is my thoughts..lol
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Of course everyone on here should have respect. We all have boundaries and rules and those should be respected as well. However, if I am walking down the street and see someone hanging it all out then they are asking to be treated differently. Especially if they are wearing a name tag that says "My name is [insert bad name here]". The point is that life here is no different than on the street. We may respect others but there will always be that first impression that is hard to get passed.
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Okay, I am not sure how this answer is going to go over. Let me start with NOT ALL MEN OR ALL WOMEN fall into any answer I give. I do not use blanket statements. I am not shocked that men react that way to those particular photos. Should the poster be ready for it? YES. Is it the right way for someone to respond to those photos? NO. I am not shocked because I have found in the time I have been here that a great deal of men definitely fall into the double standard zone that if a woman has any type of sex drive that matches theirs she is a whore/slut/tramp and they make it clear they feel that way. I find it vastly hypocritical to WANT a woman with a high sex drive only to turn around and insult the hell out of her for having it. They want to marry the woman that is like me.. A PRUDE/PRUDENT. Now before I go further, a prude and a PRIG are 2 different things. One is more reserved and takes their time on choices i.e. a prude and the other doesn't even want to hear the word breast i.e. the prig. So let's not get lost here. Men want the lady that they can take home to mom and be proud of, not the one with her tits hanging out and looking like ... well.. you know. People DO judge by what you look like, it is a fact. Yet, they then complain and whine when they bring that person home and cannot get the sexual activity they want. Well guess what, if you want that sexually active woman you cannot go around calling her names!! The lack of respect in this world, not just on this site, amazes me. Way too many guys come here after seeing 'get laid in 24 hours' and think we are all tramps/whores and they don't have to respect us. Women that like and want sex to them are somehow less deserving of respect, yet it is what they SEEK. Then they complain when they cannot GET it and they can't get it because of their crude and crass behavior. I almost always reply with what do you tell your daughter/sister/mother on this? Would you tell your them that this is how they should act and be treated? Probably not, but you also would want them to have healthy lives including a good sex life with their husband/partners even if you don't want to imagine your daughter/sister doing that. You want a man that would treat them respectfully. General rule, treat others as you want you and yours treated... sadly though, don't be surprised if some jerk comes along and calls you names or treats you badly if you are posting things of that sort. It is the nature of the beast. Women will never be seen as equals in the sexual field and treated with the same respect as the 'studs' of the world, there will always be the majority factor that will call you a slut/whore for doing what they themselves do. Final note.. for the men that hate my prudent behavior and won't take the time to get to know me because they want instant gratification.... because I don't talk about it I guess you will never know what exactly I DO behind those closed doors. Your loss as you judged me and had no patience.
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lol.... I'm not so sure that many of them even require a pulse.  Just sayin'[post 3097853] Come join the half-nekkid fun! Check out HNW Bloggers.  
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agree with you Taz. doesn't matter what kind of pics, name's a person uses they are still entitled to be treated with respect.
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lil_whimsical said it better than I could. I never could understand what makes a woman choose such derogatory and base profile names. Maybe that's a blog post for another day!
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Most of the men on here (exlcuding you and I, of course) are neanderthals. They only post pictures of their dicks, they spambomb every woman with a pulse within 1,000 miles, and when they find someone who responds, the only thing that matters to them is having sex, not getting to know the woman as an actual person. They act like this is a free whorehouse, and when the woman sees through their bullshit, they get pissed off and call her all sorts of rude names. If they were actual gentlemen, they could handle the nude pictures, come-hither poses, and suggestive user names without acting like neanderthals. Just sayin'
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I agree with you. I think they should be treated with respect. If they don't deserve it then it can change later, but take the time to get to know them first because you don't know what caused them to post those pictures or use that name. And it's not really possible to go from rude to respectful successfully. You can't judge a person's actions because you don't live in their body, heart, mind, or soul. Too often what we think we want changes as we get to know more of ourselves and some of the effects of being on this site really is an exploration of self. Sometimes by reading, sometimes by talking, sometimes by posting, and sometimes by doing, but you never come out the same as when you entered the arena. And, really, if all you perceive is a "slut" what does that say about you? They're your filters, after all. (That's a general "you" by the way, not personal....lol) Yep, you and I see eye to eye as normal! Well said and I couldn't agree more. I hope you don't mind if I share your comment with my friend? -tm *Please do. I hope it helps your friend see it from another angle.
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I agree with you Tazzerman. I have been on here a long time, almost as long as you have except for that hiatus of about 3 years. I have always tried to be respectful to the ladies even when/if they have those explicit photos. I don't send indiscriminate messages. I generally limit my emails to ladies in my area. I DO want to learn to know someone before jumping into bed. Although it may take time it is worth it. From the time I first joined until I got my first email response that was not "Thanks but no thanks" was over three years. That first and only positive response led to an eight year on-line, then in-person relationship that only ended due to her untimely death in March. I don't expect to ever replace Frassy_sass but I do hope to meet some ladies on here with whom I can develop a friendship and maybe more. The Green Googling Word-Nazi Ranger
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Most of the men on here (exlcuding you and I, of course) are neanderthals. They only post pictures of their dicks, they spambomb every woman with a pulse within 1,000 miles, and when they find someone who responds, the only thing that matters to them is having sex, not getting to know the woman as an actual person. They act like this is a free whorehouse, and when the woman sees through their bullshit, they get pissed off and call her all sorts of rude names. If they were actual gentlemen, they could handle the nude pictures, come-hither poses, and suggestive user names without acting like neanderthals. [post 3097853] Come join the half-nekkid fun! Check out HNW Bloggers.
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I think they're just asking for trouble. In a perfect world, men would treat women with respect, there would be no crime or violence ... but we don't live in a perfect world and the assholes outnumber the nice guys on this site most days. Besides, your profile here is supposed to represent who you are ... your "best face" for meeting the type of people you want to meet. Unless you want to meet assholes who treat you like a cheap whore, I don't see any strategy in that sort of crude profile and name. Like you are supposed to dress for the job that you want ... your profile should present yourself for the kind of guy that you want.
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I agree with you. I think they should be treated with respect. If they don't deserve it then it can change later, but take the time to get to know them first because you don't know what caused them to post those pictures or use that name. And it's not really possible to go from rude to respectful successfully. You can't judge a person's actions because you don't live in their body, heart, mind, or soul. Too often what we think we want changes as we get to know more of ourselves and some of the effects of being on this site really is an exploration of self. Sometimes by reading, sometimes by talking, sometimes by posting, and sometimes by doing, but you never come out the same as when you entered the arena. And, really, if all you perceive is a "slut" what does that say about you? They're your filters, after all. (That's a general "you" by the way, not personal....lol)
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