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| Blogs > gottaring > Out of the Mouth of a Babe... |
Pants on Fire?
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Pants on Fire? Getting back to my earlier post about the lies/omissions we run into out here, I thought I'd respond to your comments via one big, fat, clarifying post. Judging by the comments I received, it seems y'all are pretty much in agreement on the majority of the questions I posed. I guess it never really occurred to me to question what people wrote on their profiles. If they said they lived on Mars, I assumed that was a small town somewhere in Montana, lol. Then again, I guess I obfuscate some stuff myself, don't I? According to my own profile, I live in 'Nunyabizness, WI' and my birthday is in May. I'm also a 5'2 chain smoking, drug using, Klingon-speaking, crewcut blond of large stature. Mind you, it's fine to be any or all of these things...I just lump them all together because I figure it confuses the search engines. And why? Because the people who matter (i.e., you guys), know the truth. And I don't care if the general population thinks I'm a Pocket-sized Trekkie with a penchant for heroin and Cohibas. It just means they're less likely to invite me to fuck them (note: I said 'less likely', not 'unlikely'.). So why was I pissed off that a (potential) NEW GUY fibbed to me about his age? Because it makes me wonder what else he might have fibbed about and why he feels the need to lie/obfuscate at this juncture of our friendship. 'So ask him!', you say. 'Insist on truthfulness and ask what you want to know!' Um. I don't know what I want to know. 'Well, shit, Gottaring! There's gotta be something you're dying to know! Something that would make or break your interest in him!' I've already ascertained the obvious stuff- marital status, height, weight, etc. if he's lying, it'll be immediately apparent. But what about the stealthy stuff? Should I care why he's divorced? I mean, let's assume its because he was unfaithful. So what? Maybe he was bored. So am I. BFD. What if he beat her with a tire iron for burning his pot roast? Would he tell me if he did? That's usually a habit you learn about the hard way. Sexual health, arrest record and use of illegal substances? Well yeah, those are important. But can I take for granted that he'll be honest, even though I have been? Besides, sex won't be an issue until I know him much better than I do right now and drug use...well, I just have to search for the signs. Arrest record is easy...thanks to Al Gore's Interweb, lol. Employment status? Short of being Hubby's boss (who is uber-hot, BTW), I could not care less. Mob hitman? Could come in handy. drug dealer? He'll always have bail money. Porn star? I should be so lucky. Where he went to college? Don't care. Political affiliations? Don't care. Financial status? Only care to the extent that I don't have to loan him money. Religious association? Don't care. Favorite football team? If it wasn't already the Packers, it will be when I get done with him. In retrospect, it sounds like I don't care who I might want to sleep with. But that's not true! I just...don't know how much emphasis to place on things that aren't governed by my instincts. And lets face it, I'm still charred from my experience with THAT GUY, so I don't know if I can trust my gut. But I know NEW GUY is polite, intelligent, sweet and undeniably sexy. He makes me laugh and appears to fully understand my situation and has accepted my quirkiness so far. We have good conversation and I'm excited to meet him. My gut says good things...but it's been wrong before. Help me out, guys...I'm a little rusty when it comes to this stuff. What else should I be looking for here? How much do you need to know about a potential FWB? Really. How much? When it comes to sex, I need a STRONG connection. Otherwise, the page just keeps buffering and takes FOREVER to load... |
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GOOD
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1/25/2013 4:00 pm |
I have a return; somewhat rhetorical question for you: How can you expect most of the people on this site to be truthful when the site itself runs less than truthful tactics to get you to join? All I have to do is just look at the number of flirts I get that don't have an active account. I seek to find the truthful, honest folks, but I believe there are only a small number of them actually on this site. Not enough for me to pursue a membership. Guess I'll just keep looking till I find what I am seeking. Peace.
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Hope for the best and prepare for the worst, it's always a crap shoot! Don Dadda
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Damn!!!! I didn't realize I had reached that level with you already!!! Guess I need to schedule a trip to nunyabizness, wi soon!!! Lmfao!!!  All you can do is tell him that if you decide that fwb will happen you better not find out he omitted anything or lied. And that you are not. Trust your sexy gut and have fun. xo sexy
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You've met, and enjoyed each other's company? Go with whatever your gut tells you - and you ALREADY know what it is telling you, don't ya? Don't overthink things, and let "nature take its course". Check out my profile or and become a "watcher" of my blog FMAOPLS,to learn more about me, and for intelligent, lively, smartassy and fun discussion, with a little irreverence thrown in. "Like" or comment on my photos, and I promise I'll add more. Thanks.
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1/24/2013 11:48 am |
I have to agree with many of the others here. 1. If you are looking for a FWB then just meet him and get to know him. You will learn more in one afternoon of talking with him than you could possibly figure out reading 3000 well meaning posts from people who have no clue as to who this new guy is. The fact is, it is pretty hard to keep up a convincing lie once you really get to know a person. So get to know him. And trust your gut. I do.  2. If it is just a fuck buddy you are looking for (and this may sound harsh) then roll the dice and fuck him or don't because that is the FB game. You don't get the honesty, compassion or caring about the other person or their health in that type of relationship. You roll your dice and take your chances. I am not judging here- just figure out what it is that YOU want and decide the best way to get there. 3. And finally, Crap GR! The only reason I was attracted to you was because I thought you were a blond amazon woman who spoke fluent Klingon and could keep me set up with a supply of drugs!!!  
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This might sound vague, but it's as accurate and precise as I can be: it all depends on how much of an F you want an FWB to be. Smart as a horse and hung like Einstein.
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Since you are asking questions. You might want to know if he cross dresses. Don't want to be losing panties or bras  This is not meant to offend any one in any way.     
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I would say if you get to the stage where you want to take things further than a cuppa, there should not be serious secrets. If a guy can lie about his age (when it really does not matter to you), what other things could he be dishonest about? BUT that being said, your gut will always be more clued up than anything else! Trust it and enjoy the ride! THE MOST IMPORTANT: If someone leaves you with a smile on your face and makes you happy, don't judge too harshly. Good luck! Something interesting in my life: A surprise on my naked body this morning Come visit my blog to know what I get up to from time to time: [blog 4jasmine2]
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1/24/2013 3:22 am |
1. trust your gut. 2. keep the antenna up. 3. enjoy the ride. All life is about acceptable risk. If there is no risk, there is no fun. Enjoy the process of finding the answers to your doubts. Be decisive, but also be ready to be decisive in a different direction if the need arises. ..and keep us posted..
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Go with the gut, I think. Yes, it can be wrong, but I find mine is usually pretty accurate, most of the time. Part of the fun and excitement of someone new is learning about them. Once you have the basics established, along with a mutual interest, let the "getting to learn" them commence. . Go, New Guy! Go, Gottaring! 2022... it HAS be better, right?!
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Since this is a site where it is fun to share a side of us others in our life may not understand our profiles often have intentional inaccuracies that protect our anonimity. Like your reference to your hubby's boss, my greatest fear is that I learn the person behind the diguise is someone that is closely affiliated with the real world me. Part of the great fun of this place, allbeit a little scary, is the process of discovering the person behind the disguise. I really enjoy meeting women that I know very little about just to get to know a potential new friend. Those meetings come with great possibilities but no expectations. But once we meet, honesty is crucial as my willingness to move to the benefits level requires a level of comfort.
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Girlie, you are just too funny! I was going to write a post about your last set of queries, but since you are at the cusp of an epiphany, I'll just give the synopsis here. Thing is, you need to be more specific with your questions if you expect to get any real answers. For example, when they give lie detector tests, they will ask a question like, do you ever lie, or have you ever stolen something. Course, if you tell the truth to either of these, then it's a non-issue, but they expect you to lie. After you've lied, then they want to know by what standard you'd lie. Would you steal something that was valued under $1? Over $10? Over $1000? So, consider the followup questions as the most salient answers. i.e. When was the last time you fantasized about having sex with two 18 year olds? Were they both girls? Did you know their names? Ya see, every guy has the fantasy of the two bimbos, but it usually ends by the time they hit 30. The girls thing is tossed in to get a reaction, and asking their names gives insight into whether they are a pedophile, or hear voices.  Play around with it. Have some fun. Just remember that the answers to many questions are somewhat time dependent and although most people don't lie very well, some do, and those are the most likely to whap you upside the head with a tire iron.
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Ummm.. what the every hunky Sail said? >> polite, intelligent, sweet and undeniably sexy. He makes me laugh and appears to fully understand my situation and has accepted my quirkiness so far. We have good conversation and I'm excited to meet him<< Pretty much says it all doesnt it? If your gut says "good to go"... do so. "You've seen my descent, Now watch my rising!" - Rumi Some women are lost in the fire. Some women are forged from it - Michele K.
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I may have things confused here (no stretch of the imagination), but haven't most of your moments of question a result of NOT listening to your gut?
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