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| Blogs > GreenEyedArcher > The Seeking Archer |
Just a Man, Just a Woman
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Just a Man, Just a Woman I will have a point to this blog, but first I have to start with a story - a true one. It won't be erotic (I'm not so much that kind of a writer), but it will be factual. Shortly after I moved out of my house and left my husband I found myself in a long distance type relationship. We were both at the very same stages of separation/divorce and we just clicked in that weird, magical way. He lived in VA and I am in MN. I think we were both okay with the distance because that was less-threatening, seeing as how we each JUST left our spouses (he was living in his houseboat on the Chesepeake Bay). Anyway -- we had a hot, steamy long distance thing going on. Texting day and night. Phone calls good night and good morning. Phone sex. ME... engaging in phone sex!! It always sounded so odd to me, but there was something very hot about it with him. (I can't see me doing it again). We promised each other we would be each other's first post marriage sexual experiences. I felt like a virgin all over again (oh, especially because I hadn't had actual sex with a man in EIGHT Years thank you to a sexless marriage.. him too). So we finally get a chance to meet. At first we each made plans to meet in Chicago, but I had to cancel that weekend meeting. We each had our plane tickets but I was able to transfer mine to fly out to see him a few weeks later. He saved his for another flight. Anyway.... I will never forget the nerves I felt flying 1000+ miles to meet a man and finally have sex again. WOW. Yes, I flew out of state for sex.  When my plane landed and I was walking through the terminal, I literally felt like jello. I could not breathe. I was so nervous. I stopped to fix my makeup, hair, freshen up a bit after flying. I stopped again to just breathe. He texted, "where are you?" I replied, "scared out of my wits!!!" He replied, "I'm just a man... come see me." That really did help me and I was able to walk the rest of the distance and finally turn that corner and see him.... the weekend WAS all that we had hoped for. There was no let down for us upon seeing each other because we were both very up front about who we were with pictures, phone calls, etc. However, it turns out that is all we were to be for each other -- the first post marriage sexual experiences, (five full days and nights of it) but I am glad for that and hold no regrets. He will always have a special place in my heart. On to my point..... I am just a woman. I may have put up sexy pictures and a video that turns out some men seem to like, but it is all just a snippet of who I am. Not everyone will be attracted to me upon seeing my face and I know in person, I am just me..... Sometimes I feel men get so carried away they forget we are all just people on this site. The lure of the "fantasy" is always tempting, but I am careful now to get to know the PERSON first. I like to quickly gravitate towards real time conversations and a meetup. You never know what someone is putting into your words on a screen, or your pictures. It might not be at all close to who you actually are and that is what leads to the "let down" when you meet and see that it's not a fantasy at all. There are awkward silences, bumbling kisses, someone falls off the bed, makes an odd body noise or two, has a mole, scar, bump or odd looking thing somewhere on the body, and on and on..... The REAL fantasy for me is being able to be REAL with a man who accepts and finds all the realness just as sexy as I do. Being able to fully be myself and let go. I came so very, frustratingly close once in my life and I can see it would be amazing. I think it means a lot to me because my ex said he liked me when we first met because I was "perfect"..... (he needed the perfect looking facade for his life, but didn't actually care what was real). Oh what that word did to me all my life with him. Destroyed me. I couldn't live up to it. I stopped trying at some point and totally lost myself along the way. I am just now reclaiming my imperfectness and trying to be okay just LIVING and BEING. Fantasy is like a cage. I don't ever want to be lost in fantasy again. I want fantastic reality and that's it.  |
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only way to be is your self. i know i am not perfect, but could be for someone i.m sure. just always be your self and go from there. would be interested in talking with you some time. always up to getting to know someone new. have a great day
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It's all a learning experience isn't it? Interestingly enough, I have a similar story, but it lasted longer than 5 days and we didn't initially meet here. Initially it began with me at the beach in MD. Ironically, it landed me in Farmville to begin with. 4 months later I was living in Nordeast lol. 7 months later she was in Cali. Fortunately, I already had college friends that lived in Brooklyn Park and a job waiting for me upon arrival. I ended up staying for nearly 4 years, the first 2 in nordeast cooking at Jax Café, the last 2 off of Victoria St. in Roseville with Lake Owasso in my backyard  It just goes to show that you never know what may unfold when fantasy and reality crash head on into one and other. 
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Nicely written
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