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| Blogs > rm_Ellenback > Full Tilt! |
Strings, Leashes, and Being Owned:
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Strings, Leashes, and Being Owned: I have had this conversation recently with a few people I care about, who don't necessarily comprehend what I mean about ownership, and 'no strings' relationships. I don't believe in having 'no strings...', as to me, that would imply a shallow level of non-caring about that person, and that we are all puppets merely acting upon whimsy. Cutting the strings would definitely imply more freedom, but it also means you're still made out of wood... I much prefer 'no leash' relationships...ones where we are both free to explore and go where we choose, as long as we stay within the realm of the other person, ready to return at short notice with a well-placed whistle or simple body cues. No matter how you slice it, it IS all about control, and ownership, and when you've been a possession for most of your adult life, you tend to be leery of that. I can't truly control anything you do in your life, and that is a fairly recent learning for me - nor do I wish to be controlled. But owned? On a heart level, I think we all need to connect to someone, to be owned, if you wish, or even just thought of frequently by someone special who communicates this to you when you need it.   (((squishyboobyhugs))) DRAGONSTATUS: DRAGON CONSUMED A FLAGON OF FHINE WHINE  and has the brain-ache to show for it... Elle  |
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5/13/2006 10:27 am |
I agree, I don't understand 'no strings', there has to some connection at some level...at least for me. It's nice to know we live above the primates. lol Ownership: I had been seeing a woman for just over two years...yes with a few strings, but as soon as she saw something more permanent, I then became a possession, something she owned and controlled. I can't be owned or controlled, I can give myself completely but no one can own me. I know what you mean about connecting with another. Good post H.  btw-I've never had a hangover...I have a secret!
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Hi Elle; I agree 100% with your statement "On a heart level, I think we all need to connect to someone, to be owned, if you wish, or even just thought of frequently by someone special who communicates this to you when you need it." I posted s similar blog "The need to be needed" The fear of strings prevents many from experiencing some of the best experiences to be had in human interactions, emotionally and physically. Sexual intimacy can develop to heights unknown when given time and practice. Those who claim they have "No time" for a relationship should keep a log of how much time they spend on "searching" for a willing partner over and over again. That time could be used-instead-to grow and develop the relationship which they claim they do not have time for. I too prefer the no leash policy over the no strings.
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5/13/2006 3:32 pm |
Hey Elle, I've decided that the only person I want to control is ME. People should concentrate more on that than controlling others. I also agree with Goldenhair . . . time spent searching could be better spent elsewhere. Good statement. ~1girl
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Horny, you've just got to tease me now, don't you? LOL OK so what's the secret to 'no hangovers' other than not drinking??? GoldenHairGoddess: I love this: Those who claim they have "No time" for a relationship should keep a log of how much time they spend on "searching" for a willing partner over and over again. AGREED! The lovers I have truly connected with keep in contact with me, with give an dtake on both sides, and one guy even told me that he's basically not interested in the site anymore because he's already found what he's looking for: Me? Rosa: for many expressing those sentiments strike fear and the misinterpretation of wanting something more. Yes, they close the door for fear they might not like what is on the other side, but they haven't even looked in! 1girl: People should concentrate more on that than controlling others. So true! Control of oneself is the ultimate aim of one's life, and it's often easier to focus on others and THEIR flaws than one's own. Good dialogues, thank you everyone! (((squishyboobyhugs))) Elle
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Thank you for the positive feedback Runswithknives, 1girlrevolution and Elle; It seems to be such a game with people-to take all they can from someone and then bulk and say "No Strings!" when that person only wishes some sign that they are valued and cared about. To claim that they want to be "Friends with benifits, with no strings" is a contradiction of terms. How can there be a "friendship" with no strings? And strings are not control-but ties of mutal care and respect. Why don't they be honest and say "I want a F*** Buddy-no more/no less-period.
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