Shell Oil's Annual Report for 2005
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Posted:Apr 17, 2006 2:29 am
Last Updated:May 6, 2006 8:25 am
3752 Views
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___From Shell Oil's Annual Report for 2005_______
Total Revenues:
_2005 $306.7 billion/Compared to: 2004 $266.4
_______________Up by 40.3 billion______________
Income for 2005 $26.3 billion/ for 2004 $19.3
____________Up by 7 billion______________________
Total assets less total liabilities
_2005 $97,924 million/ for 2004 $91,383_______
__________Up by $6,541 million___________________
Dividends paid to shareholders:
_2005 $10,566 million/ for 2004 $7,391 million__
_______________Up by $3,165_______________________
I do not believe for one minute all of this profit is an accidental "windfall" due to circumstances beyond their control, Do you?
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Gas War...are you in?
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Posted:Apr 16, 2006 7:52 am
Last Updated:May 9, 2007 5:22 am
3975 Views
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GAS WAR..THIS WOULDN'T HURT..LET'S TRY
Body: Subject: GAS WAR..THIS WOULDN'T HURT..LET'S TRY
Tired of getting Screwed at the gas pump?! Me, too!! C'mon, America, let's all stick together and screw the fat-cat, rich oil producers!! It's OUR turn to stand up and be heard!!
Try this, it might work. Let's go for it consumers!!!
GAS WAR - an idea that WILL work
This was originally sent by a retired Coca Cola executive It came from one of his engineer buddies who retired from Halliburton. It's worth your consideration. Join the resistance!!!!
I hear we are going to hit close to $ 4.00 a gallon by next summer and it might go higher!! Want gasoline
prices to come down? We need to take some intelligent, united action. Phillip Hollsworth offered this good idea. This makes MUCH MORE SENSE than the "don't buy gas on a certain day" campaign that was going around last April or May! The oil companies just laughed at that because they knew we wouldn't continue to "hurt" ourselves by refusing to buy gas. It was more of an inconvenience to us than it was a problem for them. BUT, whoever thought of this idea, has come up with a plan that can really work. Please read on and join with us!
By now you're probably thinking gasoline priced at about $1.50 is super cheap. Me too! It is currently $2.79 for regular unleaded in my town. Now that the oil companies and the OPEC nations have
conditioned us to think that the cost of a gallon of gas is CHEAP at $1.50 - $1.75, we need to take
aggressive action to teach them that BUYERS control the marketplace, not sellers. With the price of gasoline going up more each day, we consumers need to take action. The only way we are going to see the price of gas come down is if we hit someone in the pocketbook by not purchasing their gas! And, we can do that WITHOUT hurting ourselves. How?
Since we all rely on our cars, we can't just stop buying gas. But we CAN have an impact on gas prices if we all act together to force a price war. Here's the idea: For the rest of this year, DON'T purchase ANY gasoline from the two biggest companies: SHELL and BP. If they are not selling any gas, they will be inclined to reduce their prices. If they reduce their prices, the other companies will have to follow suit. But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of Shell and BP gas buyers. It's really simple to do! Now,don't wimp out on me at this point...keep reading and I'll explain how simple it is to reach millions of people!!
I am sending this note to 30 people. If each of us send it to at least ten more (30 x 10 = 300) ... and those 300 send it to at least ten more (300 x 10 = 3,000) . . . and so on, by the time the message reaches the sixth group of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLION consumers. If those three million get excited and pass this on to ten friends each, then 30 million people will have been contacted! If it goes one level further, you guessed it . . . . . THREE HUNDRED MILLION PEOPLE!!! Again, all you have to do is send this to 10 people. That's all! (If you don't understand how we can reach 300 million and all you have to do is send this to 10 people . . . . Well, let's face it, you just aren't a mathematician. But I am, so trust me on this one.) 
How long would all that take? If each of us sends this e-mail out to ten more people within one day
of receipt, all 300 MILLION people could conceivably be contacted within the next 8 days!!! I'll bet
you didn't think you and I had that much potential, did you! Acting together we can make a difference.If
this makes sense to you, please pass this message on. I suggest that we not buy from SHELL/BP UNTILTHEY LOWER THEIR PRICES TO THE $1.30 RANGE AND KEEP THEM DOWN. THIS CAN REALLY WORK!
Money talks, but all it ever says is "Goodbye"!
Have a great day
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Sex Drive
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Posted:Apr 15, 2006 8:42 am
Last Updated:May 23, 2024 3:2 pm
3011 Views
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From Karen, thanks
I have run across the term 'cyber sex' a few times lately, so I decided to try to figure out what it meant. I figured it had something to do with the computer, so I started trying to find the 'sex drive' on mine. I looked everywhere, in all the folders on the My Computer section, the add/uninstall software, install hardware part of the control panel... then I got out all the manuals and went through them.
I finally came to the conclusion that my computer is not equipped with one so I decided to go to the computer store and see if I could buy one.
I wanted to look intelligent and scholarly,
so I wore my math hat.
Well, the salesperson in the first store was a rather stern looking woman, I gave her the make and model of my computer and asked her if she had any 'sex drives' in stock. She kind of scowled at me and asked me if I was trying to get smart with her... figuring she had been impressed with my math hat, I replied that I tried to be smart with everyone... she said, rather rudely I thought, that she couldn't help me and walked away.
Huh, must not have had any in stock.
In the second store, I gave the salesperson the make and model of my computer and asked it they had any 'sex drives' in stock... He kind of snickered and asked if I meant a 'hard drive,' I thought about it for a minute and told him, "Yeah, maybe that, but I think I should already have one installed..." He started laughing at me said something about me trying to kill him... "You're killing me!" Or something like that, and walked away. Hmmmm, must be out here too. Must be hard to keep in stock. I wasn't trying to kill him... I wasn't even hurting him.
The guy in the third store laughed and asked me if I'd just fallen off the turnip truck... I assured him I'd never been on a turnip truck, but I'd fallen off the manure wagon a few times. He mumbled something about that explaining it.
She's fallen off the wagon, that explains it!
and walked away laughing.
The guy in the fourth store said something like, "BOOB," under his breath and walked away... wonder why he only noticed one? Anyway I figured they must not carry them in stores. Maybe you have to order from a catalog or get on the Internet and search for one.
So that's where I am now... If any of you have some computer skills and could help me locate my 'sex drive,' I would appreciate it. Then all I'd have to do is figure out what to do with it.
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Stuck Pen
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Posted:Apr 12, 2006 1:55 pm
Last Updated:Apr 15, 2006 8:37 am
2990 Views
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A co-worker got a pen stuck inside our printer. He started to try and remove the pen, but I told him we don't have time for that now, just put a note on the printer telling folks not to use it and then report it to the Help Desk. So he grabbed a piece of paper and scrawled on it. I left before he finished the note.
About 20 minutes later, one of my techs comes in laughing and says he was just in the lobby, saw a piece of paper on a printer and went to investigate.
Attached is what he found. Sometimes things don't always come out the way you want them to........
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.
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Time off for good behavior.
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Posted:Apr 9, 2006 12:19 pm
Last Updated:May 23, 2024 3:2 pm
2977 Views
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I have turned my profile off for now. I have been feeling like maybe this is what I need-time to re-focus on what I really need. Have met plenty of Mr. Right-Nows, but no Mr. Rights. So maybe if I stop looking, Mr. Right may show up? I do not know. I just know that I need to spend less time looking and more time doing what I need to do in other areas.
I will still post when I find things worth posting. 
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THE WAY SEE THINGS!
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Posted:Apr 8, 2006 11:27 am
Last Updated:Apr 15, 2006 9:00 am
3098 Views
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THIS IS WHY WE LOVE THEM SO
NUDITY
I was driving with my three young one warm summer evening when a
Woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
naked! As I was reeling from the shock,
I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat,
"Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!
HONESTY
My Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd
dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the
garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom
and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming
little smile,
"We better throw this one out too then,
'Cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.
OPINIONS
On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his Teacher a note from
his Mother. The note read,
"The opinions expressed by my are not
necessarily those of his Parents."
KETCHUP
A Woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During
her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old to answer
the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the said to her mother. Then
she added,
"Mommy can't come to the! phone to talk to you right now.
She's hitting the bottle."
MORE NUDITY
A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the Women's locker
room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing
towels and running for cover.
The little boy watched in amazement and then asked,
"What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
ELDERLY
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old on my afternoon rounds.
The various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and
wheelchair! s, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a
pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the
inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered
"The Tooth Fairy will never believe this!"
DRESS-UP
A little girl was watching her Parents dress for a party. When she saw her
dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."
"And why not, darling?"
"You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."
SCHOOL
A little girl had just finished her first week of ! school. "I'm just wasting
my time," she said to her Mother.
"I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!"
BIBLE
A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered
through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked
up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been
pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called
out." What have you got there, dear?"
With astonishment in the young boy's voice! , he answered,
"I think it's Adam's underwear
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Inheritance
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Posted:Apr 7, 2006 2:24 pm
Last Updated:May 23, 2024 3:2 pm
2975 Views
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When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.
So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.
"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit 20 million dollars.
Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days later, she became his stepmother.
Women are soooooo much smarter than men...
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Thank you Maytag.....
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Posted:Apr 4, 2006 7:05 pm
Last Updated:May 23, 2024 3:2 pm
3004 Views
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Thank you Maytag.....
Years ago an Alabama grandmother gave the new bride the following recipe. This is an exact copy as written and found in an old scrapbook -
with spelling errors and all.
WASHING CLOTHES
Build fire in backyard to heat kettle of rain water. Set tubs so smoke wont blow in eyes if wind is pert. Shave one hole cake of lie soap in boilin water.
Sort things, make 3 piles
1 pile white,
1 pile colored,
1 pile work britches and rags.
To make starch, stir flour in cool water to smooth, then thin down with boilin water.
Take white things, rub dirty spots on board, scrub hard, and boil, then rub colored don't boil just wrench and starch. Take things out of kettle with broom stick handle, then wrench, and starch.
Hang old rags on fence.
Spread tea towels on grass.
Pore wrench water in flower bed. Scrub porch with hot soapy water. Turn tubs upside down.
Go put on clean dress, smooth hair with hair combs. Brew cup of tea, sit and rock a spell and count your blessings.
===============================================
Paste this over your washer and dryer. Next time when you think things are bleak, read it again, kiss that washing machine and dryer, and give thanks. First thing each morning you should run and hug your washer and dryer, also your toilet---those two-holers used to get mighty cold!
For you non-southerners -wrench means rinse.
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(Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder)
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Posted:Apr 1, 2006 10:00 am
Last Updated:May 3, 2012 5:46 pm
3532 Views
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AAADD
(Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder)
This is how Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder manifests itself:
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.
As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from
the mailbox earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
and notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.
But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I
find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.
I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.
I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye--
they need to be watered.
I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching
for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the
TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't
remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
but first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
the car isn't washed
the bills aren't paid
there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter
the flowers don't have enough water
there is still only one check in my check book
I can't find the remote
I can't find my glasses
I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know
I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.
Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!
GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY.
GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC!
Have a Great Day!
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Catholics in Las Vegas
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Posted:Mar 31, 2006 8:08 pm
Last Updated:Apr 15, 2006 8:46 am
3146 Views
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Catholics in Las Vegas
This may come as a surprise to those of you not living in Las Vegas, but there are more Catholic churches there than casinos.
Not surprisingly, some worshipers at Sunday services will give casino chips rather than cash , when the basket is passed.Since they get chips from so many different casinos, the churches have devised a method to collect the offerings. They send all their collected chips to a near! by Franciscan Monastery for sorting and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in.
This is done by the chip monks. Didn't see it comin' did you!
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Times-they are changing...
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Posted:Mar 30, 2006 8:20 am
Last Updated:May 23, 2024 3:2 pm
2877 Views
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Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change things.
The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1987 . They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.
Their lifetime has always included AIDS.
The CD was introduced the year they were born.
They have always had an answering machine
They have always had cable.
Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.
Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.
They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.!
They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.
They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel", or "de plane Boss, de plane".
McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.
They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter
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The Organist
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Posted:Mar 29, 2006 6:44 am
Last Updated:May 23, 2024 3:2 pm
2910 Views
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Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties. She was
admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came
to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She
invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a
cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and
in the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with
tea and scones, they began to chat.
The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and
its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and He could no
longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me
about this?" pointing to the bowl.
"Oh, yes," she replied, "Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the
Park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground.
The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it
would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all
winter?"
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Kissing Frogs.
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Posted:Mar 24, 2006 9:51 am
Last Updated:Mar 29, 2006 6:46 am
2917 Views
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A guy is 81 years old and loves to fish.
He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up."
He looked around and couldn't see any one.
He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up."
He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.
The man said, "Are you talking to me?"
The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up. Then, kiss me and I'll turn into
the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll then give you more sexual pleasure
that you ever could have dreamed of."
The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and
placed it in his front breast pocket.
Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I
will give you sexual pleasures like you have never had."
He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog"
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To link to this blog (Goldenhairgodess) use [blog Goldenhairgodess] in your messages.
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