Buy a dog!
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Posted:Feb 15, 2006 6:34 pm
Last Updated:Mar 14, 2006 2:29 pm
2721 Views
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If you want someone who will bring you the paper without first tearing it apart to remove the sports section
Buy a dog.
If you want someone willing to make a fool of himself simply over the joy of seeing you
Buy a dog.
If you want someone who will eat whatever you put in front of him and never says its not quite as good as his mother made it
Buy a dog
If you want someone always willing to go out, at any hour, for as long and wherever you want
Buy a dog.
If you want someone who will never touch the remote, doesn't care about football, and can sit next to you as you watch romantic movies
Buy a dog.
If you want someone who is content to get up on your bed just to warm your feet and whom you can push off if he snores
Buy a dog.
If you want someone who never criticizes what you do, doesn't care if you are pretty or ugly, fat or thin, young or old, who acts as if every word you say is especially worthy of listening to, and loves you unconditionally, perpetually
Buy a dog.
But, on the other hand, If you want someone who will never come when you call, ignores you totally when you come home, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, runs around all night and only comes home to eat and sleep, and acts as if your entire existence is solely to ensure his happiness...
Then...................................
Buy a cat!
(You thought I was talking about a man didn't you?)
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THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS ALL ABOUT
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Posted:Feb 14, 2006 11:57 am
Last Updated:Mar 15, 2006 5:51 am
3167 Views
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THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS ALL ABOUT (Not my story-just sharing)
It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 am when an elerly
gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He
stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.
I took his vital signs and had him take a seat,knowing it would be
over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at
his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I
would evaluate his wound.
On exam it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got
the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.
While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation
I asked him if he had a doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in
such a hurry.
The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home
to eat breakfast with his wife.
I then inquired as to her health.
He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a
victim of Alzheimer Disease.
As we talked, and I finished dressing his wound, I asked if she
would be worried if he was a bit late.
He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not
recognized him in five years now.
I was surprised, and asked him. "And you still go every morning,
even though sh doesn't knw who you are?"
He smiled as he patted my hand and said. "She doesn't know me, but
I still know who she is."
I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm,
and thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life."
True love is neither physical, nor romantic.
True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and
will not be.
_________________________________________________________
Oh, by the way, peace is seeing a sunset and knowing who to thank.
"The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of
everything; they just make the best of everything that comes along their way."
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Paging
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Posted:Feb 13, 2006 4:05 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
2602 Views
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This site will not let me initiate contacts-you left a message at  personals to "Good Girl" Well I try to be  . If you ever emailed me here, they have deleted it 8 . So if you are still out there-here I am!
To not bore the rest reading this,I posted a "not so great photo-taken by my Contractor, of me using the powerdrill at my house, currently being repair, from Past Squaters damage.
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The Parrot
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Posted:Feb 12, 2006 5:45 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
2672 Views
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A woman went to a pet shop & immediately
spotted a large, beautiful parrot..
There was a sign on the cage that said $50.00.
"Why so little," she asked the pet store owner.
The owner looked at her and said,
"Look, I should tell you first that this bird
used to live in a house of and
sometimes it says some pretty vulgar stuff."
The woman thought about this, but decided she had
to have the bird any way.
She took it home and hung the bird's cage up in
her living room and waited for it to say
something.
The bird looked around the room, then at her, and
said, "New house, new madam."
The woman was a bit shocked at the implication,
but then thought "that's really not so bad."
When her 2 teenage daughters returned from school
the bird saw and said, "New house, new madam, new
girls."
The girls and the woman were a bit offended but
then began to laugh about the situation
considering how and where the parrot had been
raised.
Moments later, the woman's husband Wayne came
home from work. The bird looked at him and
said,
"Hi, Wayne!"
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Trivia Quiz for the half century.
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Posted:Feb 10, 2006 12:11 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
3186 Views
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This is harder then I expected! See how you do!
Answers will be given in one week from today-2/17/06
1. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, Who was that masked man? Invariably, someone would answer, "I don't know, but he left this behind." What did he leave behind?____________
2. When the Beatles first came to the U.S. in early 1964, we all watched them on The _____ _______ Show.
3. "Get your kicks, ____ ______ __."
4. "The story you are about to see if true. The names have been changed ___ _______ ____ _________."
5. "In the jungle, the mighty jungle, __ ____ _____ _____."
6. After the Twist, The Mashed Potato, and the Watusi, we "danced" under a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance called the "________."
7. "N_E_S_T_L_E_S, Nestles makes the very best __________."
8. Satchmo was America's "Ambassador of Goodwill." Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was _____ _______.
9. What takes a licking and keeps on ticking? __ ____ _____
10. Red Skelton's hobo character was named _______ ________ and Red always ended his television show by saying, "Good night, and "____ ______".
11. Some Americans who protested the Vietnam War did so by burning their ______ ______.
12. The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk in the front was called the VW. What other names did it go by? _________ and _______________.
13. In 1971, singer Don MacLean sang a song about, "The day the music died." This was a tribute to ____ _____.
14. We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The Russians did it. It was called _________.
15. One of the big fads of the late 50s and 60' was a large plastic ring that we twirled around our waist. It was called the ______ _____.
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Dear Abby
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Posted:Feb 10, 2006 5:44 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
3138 Views
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DEAR ABBY:
I would like to warn women, especially young women, about the danger of giving their car keys, with their house keys attached, to anyone. A good friend's went to a well-known tire company to have a flat repaired while she waited. Without thinking, she handed her key ring with all her keys on it to the serviceman and waited. What she didn't know is that most of these places also have machines that make copies of keys. One of the servicemen copied her apartment key, and two days later entered her apartment late at night and her. This was a business she frequently attended, and they had all the information in their computer about where she lived, her phone number, etc. The man was caught months later and the police found out that he had done this before. He is now in jail, and my friend's is trying to go on with her life. I called my right away and told her this so she could learn from it, too. Please, Abby, warn your readers to have their personal Keys on another key ring or have a key ring that separates the car keys from one's personal keys. Perhaps this will save another woman from tragedy.
MARILYN IN MARIETTA, GA.
DEAR MARILYN:
You may never know how many tragedies you have prevented today. Your letter is a chilling reminder, and I hope my readers will read it.
"PLEASE SHARE THIS INFORMATION WITH SOMEONE YOU CARE ABOUT”
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Sweetheart day quiz
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Posted:Feb 7, 2006 7:13 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
3072 Views
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Subject: Sweetheart day quiz
VALENTiNES SURVEY
1. Do you like anyone?: I like everyone.
2. Do they know it? I hope so.
IN THE LAST MONTH HAVE YOU. . .
4. Had someone buy you something?: No
5. Bought something?: Yes
6. Gotten sick?: Yes-a cold.
7. Been hugged?: Yes
8. Felt stupid?: Yes-too trusting and forgiving.
9. Talked to an ex? Yes and no-trasitional in break-up.
10. Missed someone: Yes
11. Failed a test: No
12. Ate cereal: No-Prefer big breakfast.
13. Danced crazy: Bellydancing-Does that count?
14. Lie: Everyone does to protect other peoples feelings, right?
UNIQUE
16. Any nervous habits?: Yes-smoking and antzy when sitting still
17. Are you double jointed?: Yes, in one place.
18. Can you roll your tongue?:No
19. Can you raise one eyebrow?:No
20. Can you cross your eyes? Yes
21. Do you make your bed daily?: No cause I sleep on the couch.
HAVE YOU EVER. . .
23. Said "I Love you" and meant it: Yes
24. Given money to a homeless person?: Yes
26. Waited all night for a phone call that never came?: Yes
27. Snuck out?: No
28. Sat and looked at the stars?: Yes
29. Do you swear?: Seldom ever.
30. Do you ever spit?: Flem from a cold-yes.
31. You cook your own food?: Yes
32. You do your own chores?: Yes
33. You like beef jerky?: Not much-too hard to chew.
34. You like pepsi or coke?: R.C. Cola
35. You're happy with your hair?: It's baby fine soft. I like it.
36. You own a dog? Yes-3 year old black Lab Mix-Female
37. You spend your money wisely?: Depends on the situation
38. Do you like to swim?: No-not a good swimmer
40. Are you patient?: Yes-too much so
DO YOU PREFER
41. flowers or chocolate: Chocolate!
42. gray or black?: Black
43. Color or black and white photos?: Color
44. lust or love?: Both-Prefer a Combination towards one person
45. sunrise or sunset?: Sunrise
46. M&Ms or Skittles?: M&M's
NON VALENTINES DAY Q`S
1. Are you in a relationship? No-but want to be (sigh)
2. If so, who with? Myself? LOL!
3. Sign? Cancer
4. Do you believe in love at first sight?: No, that is lust-but love can develop.
5. What about true love?: Yes-I believe my truely loves me!
6. Have you made out with casual people? Yes.
7. Would you kiss on the first date? Yes-and maybe more.
8. Do you look for one night stands? No. Prefer on going stands.
9. Do you enjoy recieving flowers? Prefer longer lasting gifts.
10. Do you enjoy gifts from your girl/guy: Yes. If I had one (guy).
++VALENTINES QUESTIONS `!!++
1. You have a valentine planned out to have? None.
2. Do you like having a valentine? Depends on their motives.
3. Does someone like you currently? Someone somewhere I
hope.
4. Are you even worried about the upcoming holiday?
No, What will be-will be.
6. Whats the best gift to recieve on the day? Acceptance of self by self and by others.
7. Is a little kiss (peck on cheek) during school on V-day sweet?
Yes-but potental sexual harrasment accusation in these times.
9. Why is this an important holiday to couples?
It is a celebration of the "love connection" they have made.
10. have you ever gotten something from someone on the day? Yes. Fake roses and chocolate.
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Common Sense.....
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Posted:Jan 31, 2006 6:40 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
2664 Views
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Disclaimer: Reprint of material I recieved. There are portions I disagree with. However, I do not feel right about editing someone else's work. Most of it is truely-"Common Sense"
The Last Great Obituary
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not , are in charge).
His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge monetary settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife Discretion; his , Responsibility; and his , Reason.
He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still know him pass this on, if not join the majority and do nothing.
Wait! They forgot to mention his brother, Accountability! You know...when you screw up and have to admit to your mistake and face the music afterwards?!?
-Live, Laugh, Love
-Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved
body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "wow...what a ride!
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Why?
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Posted:Jan 31, 2006 7:55 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
3577 Views
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Why, Why, Why?
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you!
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Beauty Tips of Audrey Hepburn
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Posted:Jan 29, 2006 1:25 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
2608 Views
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Below is a wonderful poem Audrey Hepburn wrote when asked to
share her "beauty tips."
It was read at her funeral years later.
For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a run his/her fingers through it
once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed,
revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at
the end of each of your arms.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands;
one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.
If you share this with other women, something good will happen
. .
you will boost another woman's self esteem, and she will know
that you care about her.
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Genie from the bottle.
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Posted:Jan 29, 2006 11:12 am
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
2615 Views
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A Husband took his wife to play her first game of golf.
Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the
window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.
The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful!
Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how
much your lousy drive is going to cost us."
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door.
A warm voice said, "Come on in."
When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was
all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side
near the pieces of window glass.
A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my
window?"
"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.
"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you.
You see, I'm a genie,and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand
years.
Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes.
I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last
one for myself."
"Wow, that's great!" the husband said.
He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars
a year for the rest of my life."
"No problem," said the genie.
"You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long,
healthy life!" "
And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked.
"I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country
in the world," she said.
"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always
be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"
"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"
"Well, since I'v e been trapped in that bottle, and haven't been with a
woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife."
The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both
now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right.
Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about
you honey?
"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. I'd do the
same for you!"
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the
rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable.
After about three hours of non-stop sex, the genie rolled over
and looked directly into her eyes and asked, "How old are you and your
husband?"
"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.
"No Kidding," he said. "Thirty-five years old.....and both of you still
believe in genies!"
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The 80's & 90's
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Posted:Jan 25, 2006 1:37 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
3022 Views
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YOU EXPERIENCED AND LIVED THE 80'S & 90'S IF:
1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE ".
2. You watched the Pound Puppies.
3. You can sing the to the "Fresh Prince of Belair "....and can do the "Carlton".
4. Girls wore biker shorts under their skirts and felt stylishly sexy.
5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to start a club of your own.
6. You owned those lil' Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls.
7. You know that "WOAH " comes from Joey on Blossom
8. Two words: Hammer Pants
9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock ".
10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars and "spokey-dokes" or playing cards on your spokes for that incredible sound effect.
11. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales " (Woo ooh!)
12. When it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
13. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head.
14. You saw the original "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles " on the big screen....and still know the turtles names.
15. You got super-excited when it was "Oregon Trail" day in computer class at school.
16. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side.
17. You played the game "MASH " (Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House)
18. You wore stonewashed Jordache jean jackets and were proud of it.
19. L.A. Gear....need I say more?
20. You wanted to change your name to "JEM " in Kindergarten. (She's truly outrageous.)
21. You remember reading "Tales of a fourth grade nothing " and all the Ramona books.
22. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF "
23. You wanted to be a Goonie.
24. You ever wore fluorescent clothing. (some of us...head-to-toe)
25. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off and his cheeks shifted.
26. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf.
27. You took lunch boxes to school....and traded Garbage Pail in the schoolyard.
28. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of "Slap Bracelets."
29. You still get the urge to say "NOT!" after every sentence.
30. You remember Hypercolor t-shirts.
31. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band.
32. You thought She-Ra (Princess of Power!) and He-Man should hook up.
33. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged handmade friendship bracelets.
34. You ever owned a pair of Jelly-Shoes. (and like #24, probably in neon colors, too)
35. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I? "
36. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up!"
37. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.
38. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.
39. You have ever played with a Skip-It.
40. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonalds.
41. You've gone through this nodding your head in agreement.
42. You remember Popples.
43. "Don't worry, be happy "
44. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top Reeboks.
45. You wore socks scrunched down (and sometimes still do...getting yelled at by "younger hip" members of the family)
46. "Miss MARY MACK MACK MACK, all dressed in BLACK BLACK BLACK"
47. You remember boom boxes.. and walking around with one on your shoulder like you were all that.
48. You remember watching both "Gremlins " movies.
49. You know what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare!!""
50. You remember watching "Rainbow Bright" and "My Little PonyTales "
51. You thought Doogie Howser/Samantha Micelli was hot.
52. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac.
53. You remember New on the Block when they were cool... and don't even flinch when people refer to them as "NKOTB".
54. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By the Bell ", the ORIGINAL class.
55. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - "You Give Love a Bad Name" - You know, "Shot through the Heart!!"
56. You just sang those words to yourself.
57.You remember watching Magic vs. Bird.
58. Homemade Levi shorts (the shorter the better)
59. You remember when mullets were cool!
60. You had a mullet!
61. You still sing "We are the World "
62. You tight rolled your jeans.
63. You owned a bannana clip
64. Youremember "Where's the Beef?
65.. You used to (and probably still do) say "What you talkin' about Willis?"
66. You had big hair and you knew how to use it.
67. You're still singing that Bon Jovi song in your head aren't you!!!
Busted!
68. You said, "Busted!"
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Our States
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Posted:Jan 22, 2006 4:20 am
Last Updated:Mar 14, 2006 3:02 pm
3269 Views
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Alabama
Hell Yes, We Have Electricity.
Alaska
11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
Arizona
But It's A Dry Heat.
Arkansas
Literacy Ain't Everything.
California
By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.
Colorado
If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother.
Connecticut
Like Massachusetts,
Only The Kennedys Don't Own It Yet.
Delaware
We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water.
Florida
Ask Us About Our Huricanes
And Our Voting Skills.
Georgia
We Put The Fun In Fundamentalist Extremism.
Hawaii
Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
(Death To Mainland Scum,Leave Your Money)
Idaho
More Than Just Potatoes...
Well, Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Illinois
Please, Don't Pronounce the "S"
Indiana
2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa
We Do Amazing Things With Corn Cobs
Kansas
First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky
Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana
We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos,
But That's Our Tourism Campaign.
Maine
We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland
If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
Massachusetts
Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's
But Our Senators Are More Corrupt!
Michigan
First Line Of Defense From The Canadians
Minnesota
10,000 Lakes...And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
Mississippi
Come And Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri
Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
Montana
Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies,
and Honest Elections!
Nebraska
Ask About Our State Motto Contest
Nevada
Hookers and Poker!
New Hampshire
Go Away And Leave Us Alone
New Jersey
You Want A ##$%##! Motto?
I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto
Right here!
New Mexico
Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York
You Have The Right To Remain Silent,
You Have The Right To An Attorney...And No Right To Self Defense!
North Carolina
Tobacco Is A Vegetable
North Dakota
We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
Ohio
At Least We're Not Michigan
Oklahoma
Like The Play, But No Singing
Oregon
Spotted Owl...It's What's For Dinner
Pennsylvania
Cook With Coal
Rhode Island
We're Not REALLY An Island
South Carolina
Remember The Civil War?
Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender Yet
South Dakota
Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee
Home of the Al Gore Invention Museum; For Rent
Texas
Se Hablo Ingles
Utah
Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont
Ay, Yep
Virginia
Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
Washington
Our Governor can out-fraud your Governor!
West Virginia
One Big Happy Family...Really!
Wisconsin
Come Cut The Cheese!
Wyoming
Where Men Are Men... And The Sheep Are Scared
&
The District of Columbia
The Work-Free Drug Place
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