Two Condoms
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Posted:Nov 3, 2009 8:28 pm
Last Updated:Jul 7, 2010 5:47 pm
9620 Views
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Two condoms walk into a bar.
They realize it's a gay bar.
One condom turns to the other and says, "Looks like we're going to get shit-faced tonight!"
 
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2
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Wants everyone to remember...
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Posted:Sep 4, 2009 9:21 pm
Last Updated:Sep 13, 2009 9:51 am
9417 Views
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Anal sex is just like vaginal sex, except that afterwards, your cock may have shit on it.
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3
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If you don't have anything nice to say...
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Posted:Aug 30, 2009 3:21 pm
Last Updated:Sep 7, 2009 9:34 pm
9235 Views
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...don't say anything at all. Isn't that what the adage is?
I'm just curious as to why many people choose not to follow it. On the internet, even moreso than in person/face-to-face, people lately seem to feel that they can just say anything.
Now, don't get my wrong - I do appreciate people that are honest, and straightforward about things. But really, do I need some random guy e-mailing me and saying "enough already, we know what you look like with clothes on" simply because I happened to post some recent pics of me, and I happened to be clothed in them?
I realize this is a sex site, and that a lot of people are exhibitionists, or just like to show their "goods" right off the bat. But, I also know that once I post pics on here, they are no longer "mine," and can be used by others, or distributed. So, I personally choose to not post naked pics of myself generally; rather, I wait to give those to someone once I trust him.
I'm not saying that there is anything wrong with either approach - but seriously, if you don't want to look at my pics where I have clothes on, just don't. You don't need to send me e-mails that have a derogatory tone...ESPECIALLY if you don't have enough "balls" to post even one pic (of any sort) on your own profile!!!
Why can't people just let others be who they are, and if they don't like it, just ignore it, rather than having to comment or judge? 
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3
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Sex Act with WHAT???
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Posted:Mar 27, 2009 6:10 pm
Last Updated:Apr 19, 2009 2:03 pm
9079 Views
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So, I ran across a news story on the A.P. this week. Apparently, police in Michigan caught a man "performing a sex act with a car wash vacuum."
He was sentence to 90 days in prison for pleading no contest to indecent exposure.
First of all, do you think that sentence is kind of harsh?
Secondly, doesn't this guy know what kind of gross things get sucked up in a car wash vacuum? I mean, I hope he was wearing a condom or something.
I do have to admit, it kind of made me wish I owned a car wash in Michigan though. 
Finally, what goes through your head when you drive past a car wash in the middle of the day, and decide it's a good idea to whip out your penis and have a go at the vacuum? I can maybe understand trying it in the privacy of your own home, with your own vacuum cleaner, but at a car wash??
What things like this have you heard of? Or done yourself? Or had thoughts or fantasies about doing? 
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It's so cold - warm me up!
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Posted:Mar 1, 2009 8:04 am
Last Updated:Mar 7, 2009 8:22 pm
8686 Views
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A woman and her were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day. The said to her mother, “My hands are freezing cold.”
The mother replied, “Put them between your legs. Your body heat will warm them up.” The did, and her 2 hands warmed up.
The next day, the was riding with her boyfriend, who said, “My hands are freezing cold.”
The girl replied, “Put them between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm them up.” He did and warmed his hands.
The following day, the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the . He said, “My nose is cold.”
The girl replied, “Put it between my legs. The warmth of my body will warm it up.” He did and warmed his nose.
The next day the boyfriend was again driving with the , and he said, “My penis is frozen solid.”
The following day the was driving in the buggy with her mother again, and she said to her mother, “Have you ever heard of a penis?”
Slightly concerned, the mother said, “Why, yes?! Why do you ask?”
The replied, “They make one hell of a mess when they defrost, don't they?” 
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2
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Group sex is good...or IS it?
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Posted:Feb 9, 2009 5:14 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2009 4:53 pm
9259 Views
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A little girl says to her mother, "Mommy, how come I'm black and you're white?"
Her mother replied, "Don't even go there! From what I can remember about that fucking party, you're lucky you don't bark!"
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1
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Letter I Received Regarding My Recent Order
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Posted:Feb 6, 2009 5:41 pm
Last Updated:Feb 7, 2009 6:30 pm
8647 Views
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DEAR MADAM:
THANK YOU FOR YOUR RECENT ORDER FROM OUR SEX TOYS SHOP.
YOU ASKED FOR THE LARGE RED VIBRATOR AS FEATURED ON OUR WALL DISPLAY.
PLEASE SELECT ANOTHER ITEM BECAUSE THAT IS OUR FIRE EXTINGUISHER. 
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Those who do not remember the past...
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Posted:Feb 2, 2009 5:46 pm
Last Updated:Feb 7, 2009 6:30 pm
8990 Views
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are condemned to repeat it.
I heard that in my high school history class, and I always thought that it made great sense. For some reason, some people never learn from their mistakes, and always seem to forget the past and make the same mistakes over and over.
A good friend of mine got pregnant two times when she was younger. She had abortions both times.
Now, at the age of 39, she can BARELY support herself - doesn't hold jobs very long, no health insurance, no savings, can barely pay her bills, legal troubles, etc. But yet, she CONTINUES to have unprotected sex.
Granted, she's in a long-term monogamous (hopefully) relationship. So, at least she's a bit safe from STD's. But, she doesn't want , and her boyfriend doesn't have a job.
She called me tonight to tell me she just took a pregnancy test and found out she is pregnant! Seriously? I mean, she didn't think this could possibly happen? Why didn't she learn after the first time? Or after the second? Or, with age/experience? Does everyone always think it'll never happen to them or something?
I don't know...there are some mistakes that I probably have repeated and not learned from immediately - but, none of them have been life altering mistakes.
Now, she calls to ask me for advice - I just wish she would have thought about doing that BEFORE the test came back positive.  
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3
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Second best...
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Posted:Jan 3, 2009 11:55 am
Last Updated:Jan 23, 2009 9:12 pm
9105 Views
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Does anyone else ever feel like they are always "second best?" In high school, I was always the girl that had a ton of guy friends - I was a great "friend," but they always wanted to date my female friends - never me.
In all of my relationships since then, I've been cheated on. They date me for a while, cheat on me, and end up married to the woman that they've cheated on me with. (I'm not even joking about that, it's happen four times!)
Then, last year, I dated someone for 10 months, only to find out that I was the "other woman" all along, and never even knew it.
Finally, I found another guy that I liked - great person. Fun, honest, hot, nice, witty - the whole package. But, now, an ex-girlfriend has re-presented herself to him. Again, I'm the second choice.
Is it ever going to be my time to be the first choice? Or, am I destined to be the chick that's "good enough," only until a better option is available??
I don't get it, honestly...I think I have a lot of things going for me...a solid career, independence, the ability to support myself, a stellar sense of humor, no significant baggage (like ex's or ), good family and friends, intelligence, good health, an honest spirit. Why is it that other women always seem to be able to charm the man away from me? What am I missing, and how do I go about obtaining it, so that once I can be the one that the guy can't walk away from?
I know I'm not perfect by any means, but am I truly second-rate in any/every instance??
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