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Im not drinking again... ever, probably barred anyway.
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Posted:Oct 9, 2014 4:37 am
Last Updated:Oct 14, 2014 8:41 pm
2619 Views
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The other night me and a few friend were having a few after work drinks, the craic was good, the beer was flowing and everyone was getting merry as hell.
Later on the night decided to get blurry and apparently i got slightly tipsy, Deciding not to make a fool of myself and i figured id get the next round in and just have a Water. (Sending one of the guys up to get me a water is sacrilege and would be out rightly be punished by whiskey and lack of mixtures)
As i recall at the bar the bar maid was young... too young 18 as i later was told, and very pretty, so i rhymed out the order including a water for myself and when the drinks were finally served, took way to long but anyway i was going threw my wallet as one of my friends called up to me so i took out a note and said that should cover it not really paying attention to what i was at.
So she went off and i brought the drinks down to our table and suddenly we are surrounded by 3 rather large and angry bouncers...
In my tipsy state i apparently gave an 18 year old girl a condom and told her it would cover it when she asked for payment...
We didn't argue to be honest I paid the bill and we left the premises fairly quickly.... Dammit I liked that bar.
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4
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You Sir are no Gentleman.
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Posted:Oct 4, 2012 4:28 am
Last Updated:Sep 14, 2014 1:21 pm
3755 Views
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Ok on my recent tour off boobies within this site, I've come to realise that theirs serious problem with most of the dudes on here...
As i was recently reading the post of some chick complaining about the many first world problems in her life as woman like to do i was getting ready to read some of the harsh comments the post deserved and to my disgust.... their was nothing actually their was something worse than nothing...
it was crap like this...
Ladiesmanbla ba bla
Oh thats so terrible we should totally talk about it.
Ikillmydatesbla bla bla
How uncouth i could never mistreat you like that lets date
Hookerkilleronsundaysbla bla bla
Thats terrible
ect ect ect
Guys srsly theirs an apt quote from the book of man code.... Maneth the fuck up
If i was a woman, one of those creatures with boobies and an inny instead of an outy, Id be deigusted.
So the next time you read a blog with a first world problem do mankind a favour and just....
Man the fuck up and comment what you feel instead of what you think so bird wants to hear.
Yours Sincerely
SmokingSkills
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1
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I'm suffering from Homo Influenza
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Posted:Sep 28, 2012 3:14 am
Last Updated:Oct 9, 2014 6:21 am
3931 Views
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I've got the man flu.... life has ended as we know it....
never again shall I be the once strong being i was....
Women all i ask is that each of you offers a cup of tea, some kind words and your undivided attention and care. Then maybe, just maybe, we'll beat this monstrous disease together...
I need soup.
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4
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Donegal
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Posted:Sep 24, 2012 5:50 pm
Last Updated:Oct 9, 2014 5:16 am
3784 Views
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All Ireland champions.
That is all.
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2
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Caesar Salad
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Posted:Sep 20, 2012 2:50 pm
Last Updated:Sep 14, 2014 1:22 pm
4321 Views
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As it happens I don't cook, Its not that i don't want to, its a case of that I'm literally a fire hazard...
So today i was on my own and after looking at the oven with a confused face as to how it works i finally decided not to bother after what i thought was the setting for the oven to come on at 200 turned the grill on and burned some oven chips to a cinder, thank the lord for smoke alarms btw... but thats another story
anyways hungry but nevertheless determined i reached for an old cookbook that i believe my housemate was using as a doorstop for the last few years.
I decided to do the unimaginable to make a man salad and decided that the best looking one was a Caesar salad also it as the one that I had most of the ingredients for.
After around a hour of cutting up vegetables, fingers and adding this and that i have done the unimaginable
I created an edible meal.....
Pride
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5
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kar ie ok iiiiiiiiiiiiiii
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Posted:Sep 18, 2012 11:35 am
Last Updated:Oct 9, 2014 4:12 am
3849 Views
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Last week i done something wild. To make it relevant to here im just gonna describe it as making sweet sweet love to a microphone.
I've never been one to shy away from making an absolute fool of myself and others but i have to say one of my pet phobias is a fear of karaoke machines.
However last week something crazy happened, I was a little tipsy and hanging out in a bar with a few friends while their was a horrible screeching coming out of the speakers from above, i looked over to see the fattest woman i've ever laid eyes on molesting a microphone in one and while guzzling a noxious looking cocktail in the other....
I immediately saw my chance to make a complete fool of a slightly worse for wear friend of mine and slied up to her and told her that my friend really fancies her....
unfortunately as far as i can tell she misheard me or simply didnt care and handed me the microphone as "Dont you want me babys" lyrics light up the screen and well i was in a bad spot.
Then something magical happened threw a mixture of fear and drunken giddyness.... Smokingskills started singing.... producing what sounded like a truck filled with broken musical instruments crashing into a zoo...
I loved it... Definitly doing that again.
Thank you fat lady with the noxious cocktail.
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3
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I like Turtles
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Posted:Sep 13, 2012 8:11 pm
Last Updated:Oct 9, 2014 4:11 am
3930 Views
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As a i always wanted a turtly little turtle. However my dream has not been fulfilled of joining the elite circle of turtle owners.
I believe i have all the qualifications of being a turtle master, i live in a sewer and look and smell like a rat. my ninja skills are unmatched, yet no turtly turtles
ohh well...
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To link to this blog (SmokingSkills) use [blog SmokingSkills] in your messages.
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