One Night Stand
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Posted:Oct 30, 2014 2:34 pm
Last Updated:Nov 6, 2014 9:50 am
16685 Views
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Why is it called a one night stand?
I mean really, it should be a one night lie down shouldn't it? I know it is possible to have sex standing up, although as I type this, I realise I have never actually done that. At least I don't think I have. Can't remember it if I ever did so it can't have been all that special. I'm not sure I could in fact - I think my legs would give way. Is it worth the effort I wonder, perhaps someone reading this will give me the low down.
But even taking account of the fact that you can have sex standing up, it still should be a one night lie down if anything, not a stand. For some reason it sounds sleazy too, but I don't think it should. "Just this once" is a sexier way to think of it. Maybe we should just call it a "oncer." But when you write down oncer like that it doesn't look right. Onecer? No. Not like it sounds, "wunser."
I'm not sure what I'm rambling on about.
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5
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What Men Need
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Posted:Oct 27, 2014 9:44 am
Last Updated:Oct 30, 2014 2:24 pm
15232 Views
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I was reading a blog recently which quoted Emmy Rossum saying “all men need is sex and grilled cheese,” and asking what do men really need. It's a joke of course - like "how to impress your man; show up naked and bring beer."
But it set me thinking about what men really need from a relationship or even just a lover. And in the end, although this is just my take on it, and of course really, every man's needs will be different, I think what men need is not so very different from what women need.
Someone to share his hopes and dreams and tell him don't give up. Someone to share the fun things in daily life – a laugh when the restaurant is rubbish, a smile at a beautiful landscape, the memory of a day on the beach. Someone to pick him up when he feels down and say "it's okay because I love you." A lover who’s not scared of the little dark corners of his mind which he isn’t too sure of himself. One he knows will make him feel like making love whenever they are close to him, and won’t let him get away with being too tired when that first magic is waning.
Someone whose own dreams he can buy into, and who can show him new things and places he didn't know about. Someone to tell him when he is wrong without making him feel small. Someone to give presents to, who will appreciate them rather than play games of how to get more.
Someone who can make him want to want to help them work, play, rest and come.
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Moth / Flame
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Posted:Oct 21, 2014 4:10 pm
Last Updated:Oct 27, 2014 9:15 am
15617 Views
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I suppose none of the people who would have understood this post are around any more, not many of them at least, but I am going to write it anyway because that's what this place is for isn't it. A kind of "If you write it they will come." (Ha haa, that reminds me of another kind of post I used to write. )
I'm not sure exactly what it is I am feeling. A mix of things probably. I'm watching The Lake House on TV as I write this. I wasn't sure if I ought to watch it again, but in the end I was always going to. I don't remember when I first saw it, but maybe it would have been around the time I was writing to Rose, so there will have been some memory of that in what I feel. I don't remember noticing this at the time, but of course it's a film about two people separated by something they can't bridge, writing to each other and falling in love. But also it's a film about second chances, a love strong enough to believe in a second chance. And you all know about me and second chances. Don't you?
So I'm watching it, and it's making me happy and sad both at the same time. (Or is that what I am like most of the time anyway and films like this just bring it to the surface?)
I spent part of today renovating some vintage equipment I bought at a collectors' fair. It reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend last week. He's a real craftsman, nationally well regarded in his trade. He couldn't understand the amount of time I had spent working on mending something. "You could have made a new one, and better, in the time you spent on that," he said.
I tried to explain: "It's about bringing something back to life, giving it a new purpose." A lot of my creative energy goes into things like that. Making things, doing something good with reject materials.
I love that bit in the film when she tells him she misses the trees and he goes out and plants one outside her house so it will have grown over the years and magically be there for her when she gets home. And when she sends him his father's book from the future. I love the way the belongs to both of them. (Or does it belong to the house? )
I don't know. Mostly I think I am happy. But at the same time, underneath I think there will always be things about me which need fixing. The things which are always looking for a second chance.
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I'm Resisting
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Posted:Oct 15, 2014 11:55 am
Last Updated:Nov 22, 2018 7:42 am
14799 Views
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I'm resisting. I really am. I was reading Wildfire's blog and she mentioned something about zombies and it set me off. I found myself wondering if there were any porn films about zombies. I bet there are, but I am not going to look. I really don't want to see zombie cum flying about the place.
Maybe you guys can look for me and let me know? (Where are Amakamaria and Redrose19782 when I need them? Actually, I know where they are and I can always ring them up and ask, but they might think it was a bit odd. Unless I said "I've been blogging and this came up and I was wondering..... " See, that's what I love about those two, actually neither of them would bat an eyelid. Rose always did love a good horror film and Amaka would probably invite the two best looking zombies over for a threesome. )
Anyway, " House of the Living Dead" anyone? "28 Lays Later?"
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5
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Doing the Right Thing
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Posted:Oct 13, 2014 7:29 am
Last Updated:Oct 21, 2014 4:29 pm
14481 Views
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Recently I heard someone say, "Sometimes the only choices you have are bad ones, but you still have to choose."
It's one of those deep sounding snippets of wanna-be wisdom which isn't actually as helpful as it first appears.
Don't misunderstand me - I love it as a one-liner and there is a lot of truth in it. I know there are people who are very good at following its advice too. But for me this is always difficult, and in the past I have sometimes fallen back on a less clever sounding mantra which is "if you are faced only with unpalatable choices, do nothing. "
Often, seemingly apt quotations are only right in the right circumstances.....you know: "Out of sight, out of mind," versus "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," or countless others. It all depends on where your viewpoint lies.
The trouble is that following a course of inaction also has its drawback - doing nothing can often be in itself an unpalatable choice. And if you do not take your own decisions what you often find is that they are taken for you by someone else and you subsequently discover you don't like the result. Perhaps it just feels better to me because I can imagine it isn't my fault - I can feel like it wasn't my action which caused the problem after all.
But however difficult it may be to take the tough choice to Do The Right Thing, it's easier when you do actually think you know what is right.......
Sometimes all the choices you have are bad ones, including doing nothing, but you know one of them is probably the right thing to do, you just don't know which, and you still have to choose........
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10
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The Hardest Truth of All
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Posted:Oct 1, 2014 5:13 am
Last Updated:Dec 10, 2014 5:00 pm
16657 Views
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You all know that feeling. The racing heart, the shortness of breath, gaze fixed in someone’s eyes as the world melts away and the only thing that seems to matter at all is having them close pressed against you, like you want to be inside them. Or have them inside you. If you don’t see or hear from them for a day it seems like a week and everything else is just killing time until you can be with them again. For many of us, talking about, or re-creating this feeling is partly why we are here. When it is a good effect, when it turns you into who you want to be, and when there is truth, then it can be wonderful. But without the truth it is a temporary wonderful at best. It is very easy to tell one person the whole truth, and be the true you. Not so easy to tell it to more than one person at the same time.
Even if it does come to you pure, with no impediments, no what if’s, no consequences, it’s still as dangerous as a cliff-top path on a dark night. But if it comes with a proviso – like “as long as it stays a secret” - it can never end well. That’s something Gothic Girl once said to me. “We both want each other, but I can’t see any way in which it would ever end well.” Wise words for one so young, words I still feel hanging in the air whenever I hear from her.
It’s funny how a memory can be stirred up. I was watching tv the other day and some character in a show said “without truth, there can be no love.” It dragged me back in time like finding a long forgotten teddy bear in the attic. Way back to when I first met The Lioness, goodness knows how long ago now. I remember being fully submerged in my headlong downstream tumble into love with her, but nothing had actually happened between us. Yet. We told each other, “If we just keep it light, no one will get hurt.” We thought we were being so mature. Idiots. Idiots who fitted together like pieces of hot toast soaking up butter and honey, and tasted just as good too, but deluded idiots just the same.
In a kind of dimly lit premonition I could see where would lead, but I wouldn’t let myself believe it. I even wrote a song lyric at the time, “if we rush in, are we the angels or fools…?”
It’s like a drug addiction – you think you can control it, but you never can. Everyone else can see the effect on you but you are completely oblivious. When you see it in others of course you want to warn them. They aren’t going to be able to listen though, and you certainly don’t listen to yourself. I remember a guy I vaguely knew who obviously could see I was mentally all over the place. He asked me what was wrong, and for some reason I confided in him. He told me he had once had an affair but it hadn’t ended well. He said - his exact words, I remember them clearly although I barely knew him and have not seen him for twenty years - “Don’t do it. I guarantee it will fuck you up.” Of course, what did he know? He didn’t know me, he didn’t know how I felt. Looking back though, I can see now, he’d been there. He knew.
Of course, even the memory of something which went wrong can still be worth it. I wouldn’t change any of the times I have felt like it was the end of the world. Maybe I have just been very lucky.
There is that trite old adage isn’t there? “The truth will set you free.” I suppose that is right. It sounds as if it should be right, although it isn’t one of my favourite sayings. And to quote myself, “there is always a price.” Especially for freedom. But that comment about there being no love without truth…..that made me think. I think it says something special. If you really love someone it should be easier to tell them the truth. But somehow it isn’t always.
Sometimes you just can’t tell them the absolute, unvarnished, whole truth, and I think when that happens you can feel your love go quieter. One reason for that might be because actually you don’t love them in quite the way you want to. And you are frightened they won’t love the bits of you that even you aren’t quite sure of. You love what they mean to you, and you want what’s best for them, but you want what you want too. And then you realise that the other reason is because first, you have to tell the whole truth to yourself.
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Nothing
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Posted:Sep 11, 2014 4:55 am
Last Updated:Nov 18, 2014 9:40 am
18248 Views
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Come on, tell me something about nothing.
I just wanted to say I won't be on line for a couple of weeks because I am going on holiday and I am determined not to be a slave to communication. Instead I will be bass fishing on the south coast, among other things.
Meanwhile, I do miss getting a lot of comments. But I know they only come if I write something interesting, which I can't seem to be bothered to do, lol. There was an incident with Gothic Girl a couple of months ago which I was going to write about but I never got round to it.
It sort of confirmed to me that deep down I didn't really want anything to happen with her. Except for the fact that I really did want something to happen. Does that make. Any kind of sense?
I have been on this site eight years. I discovered it by accident, and found that as well as being a peephole into the lives of various interesting, and sometimes extremely sexy people, it was also a.....what shall I call it? An escape? Yes, escape is the best word I can find for it at the moment, although it is a lot of other things too. An escape from a problem I had already been struggling with for a long time even then.
Sometimes it makes the problem seem less important. Sometimes it even seems to ease it a little. Often it makes it more bearable. Sometimes it makes it a whole lot worse. Once or twice it has nearly turned my whole life upside down. Always, being able to share with you guys helps.
So feel free to talk amongst yourselves. Or tell me something about nothing for when I get back.
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17
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The End of an Era
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Posted:Sep 4, 2014 10:21 am
Last Updated:Oct 1, 2014 5:25 am
18523 Views
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I have just made the decision to give up doing something which has been a big part of my life for a very long time. I can't say too much about it here because it would be a bit of a give away if there were any nefarious n'er-do-well types reading this, and - as certain celebrities have recently found out (not that I am one of those ) - you can never be too careful with what you put on line.
I know I will really miss it, but I need to find out what parts I miss and what I am glad to be without before I see whether I can still be involved in some more minor way. A bit like breaking up with a lover - one day you might be friends, but you can't very easily make that happen straight away.
By coincidence, I stopped by Zandigal's lovely blog today, and she had posted a poem by Mary Oliver, the last line of which was:
"What do you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"
What a question....I know some people know the answer to this from an early age, and do whatever they can to make it happen. (It doesn't always work out, but they always know what their goal is. ) I wish I knew what my answer was, but somehow I never have done. Never had a plan. Ambitions, maybe, but never a plan. I've just got on with whatever came my way. I don't know if that is good enough........
When I was young maybe I did have a plan of a sort, but...... really it was more a series of dreams.
Play in a band in front of people who had paid to hear it.
Catch big fish
Sleep with a beautiful woman
Make things that were beautiful and useful
Write things that people wanted to read
One other I can't mention or some mad person might work out how to track me down.......but I have just given it up. Apart from work that was probably the thing I was really best at.
(And my work, though it earns a living and affords me time to do other things too, doesn't really make a lot of money. I can't define myself by what I do for a living, but that's good - I have never been the kind of person who would want to. )
Now I have done all of those things, with varying levels of success, but with a lot of heart. And I would like to keep doing them. Even the thing I have given up. But are they the things I would plan to do with my one precious life, given the choice? Maybe I have to think about that.
I once remarked to a life long friend that I admired him for having been very successful in his career, whereas I had done a whole load of things without ever really being focussed on one goal. His reaction surprised me, because he said "But I am just good at one thing; you are really good at loads of things, and you have always wanted to try everything and not just stick to one project - isn't that success based on your criteria? "
I know he was right, and sometimes that makes me feel good about the answer to Mary Oliver's question.
But other times I do feel a bit directionless. My friend, if he knew me here rather than in real life would, I am sure, think my name here was very appropriate.
Dreamer
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11
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Dutch Fantasies
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Posted:Aug 28, 2014 12:31 pm
Last Updated:Sep 1, 2014 1:18 pm
17120 Views
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Have you noticed what an amazingly sexy thing a real smile is? Even when you know the smiler is just being friendly. But when it is one of those, "I know you want me and maybe I want you too," kind of smiles.....wow.
I have also noticed that younger people, say under 30, especially younger women, seem to smile much more often than older people. No probably.
Meanwhile, back in fantasy land, (and if I can't mention it here, where can I mention it, ) I also notice that I would like to have sex with the Dutch athlete, Daphne Schippers. I like the way she interviews after a race.
And she has a nice smile.
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3
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Tell me what you need
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Posted:Aug 20, 2014 3:53 am
Last Updated:Oct 1, 2014 5:26 am
17483 Views
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Last night I was dreaming. A beautiful woman with wildly mischievous eyes came to my bed, longing for sex. Her body was soft and warm and her arms twined around me as we pressed against each other. I could feel the slow movement of her breathing against me and my head was full of the smell of her skin.
It seemed to be one of those give and take sessions; not so much about mutually having sex, as about each of us going to work on the other before taking our own turn. I was kissing her and my hands were all over her body. She was intensely responsive. I seemed to have been empowered with the most delicate and yet powerful touch - she had never experienced anything like it.
When she calmed she smiled and put her lips to my ear whispering “tell me what you need.” And I woke up.
“Tell me what you need.” In my imagination an iconic phrase, except that it is probably almost never said. In the very best relationships no one has to say this. It is taken on trust. Most often, the answer is already known, what is needed already given or taken. Or if that understanding is missing, or hasn’t yet been reached, no one dares to say this, though they might think it. It would sound like something from a badly scripted movie.
But when that closeness is missing, or when there is no relationship at all, isn’t this a feeling that we all long for? Whether it is from the friend we have fun with, or a relative in time of crisis, or even in the phone shop when you don’t understand the technology! That understanding that sometimes, there is something you can only work through with the generosity and understanding of another human being.
Or with a lover: that wonderful instinctive desire to give yourself up completely for their pleasure, and in return have them offer you, even if it does not need to be offered in actual words, “let me give you what you need.”
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Bare Shoulders are Nice if you have the right address.
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Posted:Aug 14, 2014 4:50 am
Last Updated:Oct 27, 2014 4:45 pm
18466 Views
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Normally I am not one to be especially affected by looks alone, but occasionally I do find myself affected by pure physical attraction only, and then I really like bare shoulders. Somehow looking at a woman's bare shoulders gives an impression of sexiness not always offered by other normally visible parts of the body.
I was at a hotel recently where the waitress at dinner had a dress on with bare shoulders, and I have to admit it was difficult to concentrate on the plates when she leant over the table. The rest of her was hot too though, which probably had something to do with it.
Okay, shapely legs, whether clothed or not, will always be my favourite I think, but generally, other things like hair, cleavage, ankles, hands, elbows, even a flash of stomach in the summer - which I might see on any woman I happen to look at - whilst any of these might at any given time catch my eye, they tend to have less effect on me than shoulders.
I am wondering whether any of you have a strong response to any particular parts of the anatomy which are often visible in day to day interactions with people - as opposed to the bits which tend only get exposed when you know where you are heading so to speak.
Whilst I am posting I should mention that if anyone has emailed me recently on my dreamer address, I may not have received it. I had to make some changes to my account and I'm not sure if that address is working any more - I don't seem to be able to access it. If you have written and not had a reply, let me know by comment here and I will get another address to you.
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7
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Sex as Athletics Training
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Posted:Aug 8, 2014 4:55 am
Last Updated:Sep 29, 2014 4:41 am
18909 Views
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Watching the Commonwealth Games reminded me of my somewhat unorthodox, but effective early training regime. Any budding candidates for Rio, take note. There is no better way.
I was school 400 metre champion. 54 seconds. Which is funny 'cos I hate running really.
But not many people know how much sex it took me to get there. I was at a boarding school in a well known English town. And I also had a girlfriend, ( we know her as Lizzy, ) living there. As I may have mentioned before, Lizzy was thoroughly gorgeous. A big generous smile, reminiscent of Lauren Bacall, kind, but forceful and self possessed, tall, swimmer's shoulders, flat stomach, long, wrap around legs and a mischievous desire to learn all she could about sex. From me. I think of her a lot these days actually, I'm not entirely sure why, except that she is now very successful in her career and is occasionally in the news. And I still care about her, even though we haven't seen each other now for twenty years, and it is over thirty since I last slept with her.
But at seventeen our relationship was at its height. And the school I was at, being very progressive, allowed senior boarders out of school any time after classes were over, provided you were back by 6.30 pm role call. And so my year and a half of training for the 400 metres began. I mean seventeen year old boys will do most things for sex, any old sex, let alone the kind of excited learning curve Lizzy and I went on.
Her parents both worked, so conveniently for us the house was usually empty on weekday afternoons. Pretty much everyday I would be lying close to her, feeling the warmth of her soft skin against mine and glowing inwardly as well as on the surface when the clock ticked round to six twenty. Tearing myself away I would realise I had less than ten minutes to make the three quarter mile trip back to school without missing roll call, and would start running. Most days it was more like five minutes and I would be close to flat out the whole way, because if you were late, you might not be allowed out in future, and that would have been a disaster!
I always wanted to be a high jumper, but I couldn't master the flop. I wasn't quite quick enough for the sprints and I can't be bothered to keep running for more than a few minutes, so I entered the 400. And found no one could beat me. If I set out at marginally less than a sprint, then I'd get round the bend level with the pack and cruise down to the line as all the others tied up behind me. (Let's not get carried away - I am well aware that even back then, the record was over ten seconds quicker, so I do know my times weren't anything to be overly proud of. )
The time I ran 54 was in an inter schools competition, and the first and only time I ever found anyone ahead of me in the straight, so I pushed myself a bit and got passed him five metres from the line.
Like I said, I hate running, and I'm not sure I ever really ran as fast as I possibly could, but the training came very naturally to me, lol.
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11
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Dangerous Toys
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Posted:Jul 24, 2014 8:22 am
Last Updated:Sep 29, 2014 4:49 am
18932 Views
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Okay, here's a weird one. I have a slight fetish about women holding their breath.
I used to think it was based on another fetish of mine (the one I don't talk about. And I don't know why I said that because nobody, well almost nobody, even knows I have one I don't talk about) but anyway I realise now that although they may be linked in some way, I have had this one for a while without noticing. Thinking back I remember getting unexpectedly turned on by a TV program about a woman free diver a while back. Maybe I might develop this one a little?
I would love to know what triggers these little things off though. I know a lot of the time it can be remembered experiences - which is why I think people tend to have more of these strange little triggers as they get older, because they have more experiences to draw on. But there has to be something else too, to make you appreciate the sexiness of seemingly unconnected things. Then once you start to feed it, it gets bigger. (Which is why you have to be careful if it turns out to be something which could be harmful.)
Whatever. My attention was drawn to this by a comment by the Sox, although the breath holding referred to in their case was, A) probably fictitious, and B ) more a reference to petulance than sex.
But it did make me think, I mean OMG, isn't there something just nipple-hardeningly exciting about someone sucking in a great lungful of air and then holding it until they are gasping........or am I a bit weird?
You see suddenly I realise that this could in fact be potentially dangerous. Ok, simple breath holding, assuming you are healthy and don't faint and fall down the stairs, would probably safe enough for you to play with to satisfy my strange desires. (Should you feel moved to do so..... )
But I can see how, if fed, this fetish could lead me to things less safe. For example would I then start to get off on the idea of something like say choking. I am aware that many people do. I think we are probably all aware of the dangers of auto eroticism. Not having experienced it, or witnessed anyone become sexually aroused because of oxygen deprivation, I don't know what it is like, but clearly it does have an effect, and quite a lot of people have died, either by using a home made "fail safe" which went wrong, or by accidentally damaging a partner's throat, which, I remember reading, is surprisingly easy to do. And yet I notice that quite often even in fairly regular pornography, guys have their hand around their girl's windpipe.
I simply can not conceive ever of taking any risks with the wellbeing of anyone I was having sex with. So, perhaps even the effects of harmless erotic breath holding may have to be put on the long list of things I have to go without, (like real sex for example ha ha ha, (partly ironic laughter) things which, for me, fall into the category of "Too Risky to be Worth it."
People sometimes say you only regret the things you didn't do........but this is absolute rubbish. As I have mentioned before, a character in a second rate sit-com once put it rather well: "The problem about living in the moment is that it tends to bugger up the next moment." Often all too true.
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To link to this blog (hotdreamer1000) use [blog hotdreamer1000] in your messages.
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