What makes for erotic writing?
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Posted:Jan 16, 2014 5:20 am
Last Updated:Feb 12, 2014 4:03 pm
14231 Views
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Alicia Blond had a post up recently examining what makes for erotic writing, and why she rarely finds it arousing.
As some of you know, although I have somehow fallen out of the habit, in the past I used to write about more erotic situations than I do now, and some of the comments I received implied that yes, some people did find my writing arousing. I also used to read more, and there have been a few posts which have really turned me on. ( Amakamaria’s [post 601339] is one I often quote. )So Alicia's post made me think about what it is about a piece of writing which gets the pulse racing. The more I think about it, the more I think that a writer's ability to draw you into a scene so that in the end you feel as if you are there experiencing what is being described, is the key. As it is with most fiction I suppose.
That may well be why my most successful attempts at being erotic were probably reminiscences rather than fiction. Partly because I was able to write them better because they were true, ("nothing which follows is made up" was always my first line) and also of course, because knowing something is a true story always helps a reader to believe in it. Alicia mentioned that she does find words which she knows are meant for her (text, email etc ) more arousing, and I think that makes sense – it is true, and also much more likely to draw you into the scene. Assuming you like the person doing the texting of course. Probably my most successful attempts at erotic writing have been the ones where I wanted any reader to be able to imagine themselves in the scene, like Almost Like I was You for example. (Go on, read that one, I dare you..... )
But where fictional erotica is concerned, it can be a very thin line between what is extremely arousing, and what is simply crass. And I think the response can depend a lot on the mood of the reader. Fictional writing does allow you to take part in what might be a fantasy situation, or one which plays on a deeply hidden erotic trigger, but one which you would not be happy accessing in real life. There are things which are arousing in fiction which would be a proper turn-off in reality.
Someone once asked me to write about violent sex, which is really the opposite of anything I ever do or fantasize about. (Pull My Fucking Hair Hot if anyone is feeling brave enough. ) In fulfilling this request I wrote a post about being goaded into a violent act by a woman who wanted me to hit her. I had to imagine myself really being in that situation. I was surprised to find that reading it afterwards it turned me on, even though I can't imagine the scene ever being repeated in real life. My readers at the time, who were used to a diet of philosophical meanderings and the occasional lightly erotic romantic reminiscences, were kind in their responses, though if it turned any of them on, they weren't admitting it! When I re-read it again a lot later, I didn't get it any more - I was not turned on. I have had similar experiences reading the erotic writings of women on these blogs. Two similar posts may not have the same effect on me, though I can't explain why, or my response may change over time.
This seems to me to confirm that a reader's response to erotic writing depends partly on their mood. I think the best writing makes you feel like you are there taking part, and for that to be arousing you have to be in the mood for that particular scene.
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What is it with wasps and my cock?
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Posted:Jan 15, 2014 10:57 am
Last Updated:Jan 27, 2014 9:57 am
12629 Views
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What is it with wasps and my cock??
Maybe it is some kind of pheromone thing? Because it always seems to be bloody great big queen wasps that are attracted. Anyone who has been reading my blog for a while will recall that this isn't the first time. I bloody well hope it's the last though.
I sauntered into my bathroom, whipped out my most sensitive part and aimed it into the porcelain, and there it was. A whacking great penis-seeking missile of a wasp. Okay, it wasn't actually penis seeking, but it was a whopper and I wasn't going to wait around to find out its reason for living. A sound something like "whooaaiiiihhh" burst unbidden from my lips, and then I manfully regained control, nipped into the bedroom and came back with a magazine (not that kind of magazine) and gave it a damn good reason for dying instead.
I'm not normally given to the wanton destruction of wild creatures, but I'm afraid I have a serious irrational reaction to wasps. I can just about deal with them in the open, but in a confined space the hair on the back of my neck stands up, my heart races, I feel faint, and my skin goes all sensitive and shivery. A bit like sex really, only really horrible instead of the best thing ever.
It's a thin line between love and hate I know.
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9
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Blogging Drunk
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Posted:Jan 8, 2014 5:18 pm
Last Updated:Jan 15, 2014 6:19 am
13387 Views
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They say you never should. Blog drunk that is. I was going to, but then I had an email from a friend and I HAD TO REPLY TO THAT FIRST. (Where did those capitals come == from? and now ther e seem to be equals marks too. Whatr happened therw??? Oh well who cares. Who edits when they are blogging drunk anyway??? ) Anyway, then I read H's ridiculously sentimental write up about E's family, (actually it was all rathe rsweet, but don't tell them I said that ) So now I am just tired and I can't think of anything to blog about.
It's probably just as well - the last time I was blogging drunk, (and it is a very long time ago now ) Rose emailed me, and then we ended up having a long IM and then I asked for her phone number and we all know what that lead to, lol.
I love phone sex. I don't even have phone sex any more. But I am still happy.
Loveyouthankyoubye.
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Happy New Year, (And Sad )
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Posted:Jan 6, 2014 4:50 am
Last Updated:Dec 16, 2014 3:02 am
12535 Views
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Well happy New Year to you all. But before I find time to go back and reply to all your lovely comments on my previous blog, I have a sadness to report.
I had been following a blog by a woman with the user name "Smokeandsuck." We had also sent a few emails through this site back and forth. Nothing romantic or sexual, but this had been going on for a while and we seemed to be making a friendship.
According to my inbox she sent me an email on December 20th, but I have not logged in since I posted my Christmas messages just before that, and now, I can not read her email, because she has deactivated her account. (I don't know if this is a new thing, that all old conversations disappear if that person deactivates, because I don't get that many emails, and the new email system which shows emails as part of a conversation hasn't been going that long. )
So presumably, she either was sending me an address to keep in contact, or possibly saying goodbye and letting me know her account was going to be deactivated. Whatever, she may now think that I have ignored her, which of course I didn't. I find that sad, partly because one of the things she complained about in her blog was how men often lose interest in her when they get to know her better, and of course I don't want her to mistakenly think that of me, not just because I don't want her to think badly of me, but because it might make her sad.
There is nothing whatever I can do about this, and I am sure I will get over it quickly of course, but all the same, right now, I am a little sad about life.
UPDATE:
I was pleasantly surprised to find smokeandsuck's blog was still running, and her last post gives her reasons for leaving the site - she's resolved issues with her man and is really happy with life, which is great news. So I'm frustrated not to be able to read her email to me, but I have been able to leave a comment - it may never be read, but even if it isn't I can be content that no misunderstood silence from me is likely to mess up her current happiness, so it is now officially Happy New Year in Dreamerland!!!!
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7
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Christmas Meassages
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Posted:Dec 19, 2013 10:19 am
Last Updated:Dec 22, 2014 3:22 pm
15185 Views
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You know one thing I really love about Christmas is that whatever age you are, (unless you are one of those jaded people who thinks it isn’t cool to be excited about anything,) the build up to Christmas gives you an excuse to be happy in a simple, -like way, and to believe that just for now, life is still full of wonderful things to look forward to. I wish it were possible to live every day as if it were Christmas Eve, but when real life makes it harder to appreciate the uncomplicated pleasures of a happy family, a good meal and a bit of goodwill to all men, then at least at Christmas, you can ignore everything else and believe, just for one day.
The excitement of looking forward to giving and receiving gifts which have been really thought about, which really mean something to the people giving and receiving, is something I know I will never get tired of.
So I hope all of you, whether you are working or relaxing, partying, playing with friends, at home with family, or alone but making the best of it, I hope you have a very happy and refreshing Christmas. And to a few of my regular friends here, I have some special messages:
RainbowSox – "E," somehow you have become a real friend to me. I love to read your take on life, and your good heartedness over almost everything is so infectious. There is no need to wish you good things as your life is full to the brim with them, but maybe that’s partly 'cos you make it that way, and that could be a lesson to us all. "H," your way of writing words "as-I-would-speak-them" is always fun, and has a liveliness to it which hints at why E loves you so much – you must be devastatingly attractive if what she says is true, especially for one so tiny. I hope Christmas brings all the happiness you deserve, and less of the confrontation you are expecting.
Violette – I have been following your wonderfully erratic thought process on your blog, I just haven't been able to think of any more words which would help. I am thinking helpful and supportive thoughts though. I probably should write that on your post instead of here, but I know you will come by and read this and maybe that will be better. Wishing you peace of mind and plenty of enthusiasm for the best Christmas you've had in ages.
Zoe - Oh heavens, I have been a bad friend. I haven't even been over to check the latest instalments of your saga. I will put that right soon, and I hope you are still diving headlong into the fire.
Tigger – Your comments always make me smile, especially when they tempt me towards places I like being tempted towards.
Hippiechick – I can't believe I've known you for seven years? And has either of us got a better handle on the things which bug us in all that time? Actually maybe we both have, and if I have at any rate, then it is in part because of all the wise words I have read from you over the years.
Redheadinheat – It gives me a warm feeling deep inside when I see that you have come by to read my blog, although as I hardly write anything at the moment, and nor do you, it is a limited form of communication..... but you still feel like a real friend to me. I hope you have a fantastic Christmas, frankinsensational even.
Synndarella – I was glad to see you have put up a few posts recently, I always keep a look out to see if you have, especially as I love your sexy soapy picture. As I said, I am around your way quite often these days so I will let you know if I have time to stop by your desk.
The Girl 5 – I’m glad you are still around. You always seem to appreciate the things I am trying to say, and I hope life is being good to you these days. Merry Christmas.
Torrid_affair – I hope your job situation has improved. Have a good Christmas anyway. I was thinking of you again just yesterday when they played Calvin Harris on the radio.
Peterwasted – I've enjoyed your blog and comments again this year. It’s good to swap important stories of local life, like driving on that great south western highway we call the A 303.
Wildfire – I'm sorry, I have neglected visiting your blog to see how you and Big are getting on – Happy Christmas, and I'll try to catch up in the New Year
Cute_n_nerdy - I don't know if you'll be by to read this, as your blog has been quiet, and last time you posted you were struggling with a few issues, but I hope life is okay and we'll be hearing from you again soon.
Marysia – I hope all is well with you, I am always glad to see you have been reading.
Wantitindeep – This time last year was the last time I heard from you, I hope you are doing okay.
Kay – I don't feel I have got to know you much yet, and that's my own fault for not blogging enough, but I like knowing you would be there to read anything if I wrote it, lol.
Thank you to everyone who has come by and commented. If I haven't mentioned you specifically it doesn't mean I don't value your visits here. There are a few fairly new faces I am only just getting to know, (smokeandsuck, CharleyB, Tickle, FMAOPLS, Passioncork, ) and if I can only find something interesting to write about I hope to see more of you in the New Year. Plus I just want to say a few hellos to some special people who haven't been around that much, but might just be dropping by:
Amakamaria – You really are one of my closest friends, and repeating what I said here last year, "I say friends, but you know I fancy the hell out of you too...." Anyway, it is a source of great joy and comfort to me to always be able to run an idea by you, and I really value the fact that I know you feel the same.
MostWantonWench – I guess at some point you might read this, in which case, I hope life is going well for you, and you haven't forgotten your dreams.
Zandigal – I love your way with words, when you put your mind to it. Just the other day I was talking about a poem with a friend, and it reminded me of how you sometimes write. The, the very next morning, I was driving to go fishing, and there was a huge full moon setting in the early morning dusk. I immediately thought of what a wonderful photograph you would have made of it. Don’t stay away too long.
Mystirose – I'm glad to see you still stop by for a read now and then. I hope your situation has improved or resolved itself. I wish I heard from you more often.
Cum2kissu2 – Merry Christmas Kizza, if you're reading.
Skierchick – (For those who don't know, skierchick is a former blogger who has an amazingly sexy athletic body, and an athletic mind as well. Her blog was mainly a series of thought provoking questions about how a man's mind works when it comes to sex – so you can see what attracted me, lol ) Anyway SC, I don't know if you will be dropping in to say merry Christmas, but here's to the stars and stripes if you do!
Colorado Rose. I know you said you wouldn't be signing in any more, but......well, Merry Christmas if you do. You know how I feel about you, and we'll be talking anyway, but I still miss you being here to talk about who else is blogging.
I'll be away visiting family over the Christmas period, so I won't be on line, but I will check back here and see you all in the New Year,
Love from Dreamer.
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I wonder
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Posted:Dec 9, 2013 2:24 pm
Last Updated:Feb 4, 2014 3:41 pm
13555 Views
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Hi there. I wonder what you have all been up to. I haven't been here much as you may have noticed. But life goes on the same as ever here in Dream land, and I haven't forgotten you.
I have been working hard, and my seem appreciative. Also getting organised for Christmas, buying presents, making shopping lists, baking a cake and feeding it every week.
And I have been wondering:
What kind of mad present will my sister buy for me this year?
Will I remember to log in and write a Christmas message to all my friends here before I go away, and am off line over the holiday?
Will "The Holiday" be on TV again over Christmas?
Will Skierchick drop by in her stars and stripes bikini again this year?
Would Lizzy Caplan tweet me back if I messaged her on twitter?
Loveyoubye, Dreamer.
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14
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My sex life
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Posted:Oct 31, 2013 2:59 pm
Last Updated:Dec 18, 2013 5:12 pm
16554 Views
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I nearly titled this post "Kelly Brook's Knockers" but I thought that might attract the wrong kind of Bees.
Actually, I have always really liked Kelly Brook, but her knockers have now ballooned out of control. Silicone enhanced probably, not my favourite look anyway, and if I had to choose I probably prefer smaller ones. But from the picture I saw of her on a magazine cover in the newsagents I'm sure hers have got even bigger recently. I do hope she isn't heading down the sad path made famous by Lollo Ferrari. I don't think so, she seems too down to Earth for that. I know there are men who prefer fake boobs, but for me, natural is best in all things.
I did have some thoughts as to an amusing blog post about Kelly Brook a few days ago, but sadly, as with many things, they have drifted into the past and are probably gone forever. I mention her partly as a way of prevaricating. I don't know if you guys are interested in my fantasy sex life these days. It's embarrassing, I feel I need to go and hunt down some new bloggers who haven't heard it all before, and who have not become friends - despite the nature of this site I find I am less inclined to come out with the sexy stories for those of you who are beginning to know the real me. How crazy is that?
For now I will just say that I have had dreams.
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12
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A Revealing Answer
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Posted:Oct 3, 2013 3:57 pm
Last Updated:Jan 29, 2014 1:18 am
19674 Views
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Delicious Darla had a post up in which she asked whether men preferred make up or no make up on women. I thought for a moment, and I was almost going to say that I like all kinds of different women, (which is true, ) when I thought, "yes, but it is more complicated than that." So I started just writing, and this is what came out of my head:
It's an interesting question, and the answer may be revealing, but I am not sure in what way!
The women I tend to end up in relationships with are often minimal make up wearers. I do kind of like that look, and I don't especially like the taste of make up when I kiss. Plus I like women who care about their health, and too much make up isn't really very good for the skin. Also, maybe I like women who care more about their personality than their looks.
But, and it is a big but, often the kind of women that get me fantasising about them are often heavy make up wearers. Like Gothic Girl. (She wrote to me the other day saying she had been thinking about me a lot recently, but that's another story.... )
I am also superficially attracted to women who don't take so much care of themselves - smoking, drinking, casual sex......but I rarely act on this. Partly because when I get closer I find I don't often like them very much, and I don't seem to be able to fancy someone I don't like. But also, because even if I do like them, if I were to get close physically then then being me, I would start to really care about them, in which case then I would want them to look after themselves, but that would be me trying to turn them into something they weren't, which I wouldn't want to do.
I really fell for someone who had a history of not looking after herself once. But she wanted to change that behaviour, and I really liked her, which was a seductive combination for me. But that's another story too.
I remember Zandigal writing a post (it may have been partly fictional, a lot of her best stuff was like that, ) about how when she was young she always used to gaze at the clean-cut innocent pretty boys in church and dream of "dirtying them up a bit." I suppose I get that with innocent looking women too - but I don't want to dirty them up. In fact I don't find the term "dirty" very sexy. But if not dirty, I suppose I want them to be at least wildly lustful already underneath. I don't want to change them. But as Zandigal put it, why couldn't she find someone who was both? She felt like she was both, and needed a man who would be able to appreciate both sides of her personality. As The Eagles put it "in between the dark and the light."
Boy do I understand that. Sometimes, very rarely, I have been involved with a woman who appreciated the stay-at-home-and-do-woodwork me, and the go-out-lusting-after-women me both at once, but it is a rare gift. I think they need to feel something similar in themselves to get it maybe.
So maybe that is what I really need. Because the out and out bad girls scare me. They would lead me down paths I don't want to get lost on. They wouldn't be kind to me, and I need that. I need to be in love with a woman who is her own boss, living her own life as well as sharing mine. Someone who can tell me when I'm wrong and make me believe it, but without making me feel small, but who won't feel small herself if I lose my cool sometimes.
And I'd like her to be the kind of woman who doesn't wear too much perfume or skimpy clothes and make up all the time, but when she does, OMG.
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18
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Base Emotions?
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Posted:Sep 25, 2013 1:09 pm
Last Updated:Nov 21, 2013 6:03 pm
17359 Views
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Listening to a few beautiful, but somehow almost halting phrases, I felt as if I was looking at a woman. Like I was remembering her, the way she moved; how the firm softness of her breast felt under my hand; the warmth of her breath on my neck. I wasn't thinking of anyone specific, and I don't know why it made me feel like that, but my mind drifted away with it – I enjoyed the feeling. I suppose the first time I heard this music I might have been in the middle of some very formative experiences – it may be no more than that.
Now, I know this site isn't intended for esoteric discussion about music, although interestingly I do see quite a few posts about music here. Maybe for some of us, music is all about feelings and emotions, and though we like to pretend that sex can exist perfectly well on its own without emotions, most of us, to one degree or another find that actually, it can't.
That's partly why we are here.
So I am only going to apologise a little bit for any future musical references on this blog. Like this one. (Feel free to skip through the esoteric music lovers bits it you aren’t interested.)
The album I was listening to moved on to another track, and then, near the end, the tune was played again, but slightly differently. It's very similar, but it didn't make me feel quite the same way. I knew the album well, so I knew that was coming, but I was surprised not to get the same feeling, and dimly remembered that actually I have always much preferred the first of those two tracks to the other, but had never been quite sure why. Except that this time, in a way I had never noticed before, I could now clearly hear exactly why I felt less emotionally stirred by the reprise.
The album is called "Music inspired by the Snow Goose" by a band called Camel which I have not heard for many years, but which for some reason I decided to play whilst working recently. (I wrote this instead of doing the work by the way, which I will have to get back to shortly, lol. )
The music is from 1975. It sounds dated, very 1970s and I suppose some would say musically self-indulgent. But still beautiful for all that. They were very big at the time, kind of on a par with Pink Floyd, but in the end their fame did not escalate to the massive heights Floyd achieved, and they are not so well known these days. (For those inspired to look it up, the track I'm referring to is a guitar instrumental, called "Friendship," reprised later on the same album as "La Princesse Perdue." There is also a lovely keyboard track called "Fritha Alone," by the way. See footnote + )
A while ago I wrote about how I always wanted to be a bass player, but started off as a guitar player and stuck with it. Okay, when I wrote that there were a lot of sexual connotations and of course, this site being what it is most of you picked up on that.
But the thing about this second version, "La Princesse Perdue," is that it has slightly more complicated production, more instruments, and the bass line - though essentially the same - is more understated, quieter and with a few key notes omitted. The first version of the track, "Friendship," is simplified, and has a very strong bass line which is easy to hear. As well as underpinning the guitar melody it complements and mingles with it.
And I think what sets me dreaming is that the guitar and bass on "Friendship" are kind of intertwined together in a way that to me, sounds like they are making love.
[ + Footnote: For anyone who really wants to listen to these tracks to see what I am talking about, I tried looking up these tracks on the tube. Sadly, there is a good upload of the original of "La Princesse Perdue" but on all the recordings of "Friendship" I can find, the bass line is less well defined than it is on my original vinyl album, so the effect is lost. It's beautiful music though, and if you have better speakers than I have, or use headphones, you might be able to make it out. ]
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12
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Holiday
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Posted:Sep 7, 2013 3:39 pm
Last Updated:Sep 26, 2013 3:20 pm
18000 Views
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I am going on a holiday to a tiny remote peaceful island. There's one shop, one pub, two hills, no cars and room for about 150 people. I have been there before, and even in such a small space, you'd think there were only a handful of people around. The seas are shallow and blue and the beaches are clean and white. There are rocky coves to explore, and boats anchored in the bay that look as if they belong to pirates and treasure hunters. But really the locals are very friendly.
I will be there for two weeks with nothing to do but relax, go boating round the other, uninhabited islands, catch and cook prawns at low tide and fish. And I don't think I'll be logging in while I'm away.
I feel like I need a holiday. It's been a busy summer, and I'm tired.
I mention this because although I know I haven't been blogging much and you probably wouldn't notice if I didn't sign in for two weeks, you guys actually mean quite a lot to me, and I wouldn't want anyone to think I had forgotten them. Because I haven't.
See you when I get back,
Love you bye,
Dreamer.
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12
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I should have known
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Posted:Aug 30, 2013 8:32 am
Last Updated:Sep 5, 2013 3:45 pm
16986 Views
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Much more upbeat today. Found a Stevie Ray Vaughan record I hadn't listened to that much, and put it one while working. One especially good track was a duet with Albert Collins.
Buzzing now. I should have known the blues would give me a lift.
Now all I need is hot sex.
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11
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Logged Out
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Posted:Aug 28, 2013 2:56 pm
Last Updated:Sep 2, 2013 10:22 am
15936 Views
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I have been having a lot of trouble logging in lately. So even if I had something much to say it might be a while before I can get round to it. I expect I will get it sorted out soon, but if I seem to have been neglecting my blog, and yours, that could be why.
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7
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Blah
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Posted:Aug 15, 2013 3:51 am
Last Updated:Aug 22, 2013 8:51 am
17769 Views
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I'm just not feeling very Dreamerish recently. No reason that I know of, just generally lacking in enthusiasm. Something is wrong with my life, (apart from the obvious) and I can't seem to identify quite what, or what I need to change.
I also realise, again without any identifiable reason, that I simply don't seem to have any erotic writing in me any more. Or at least not at the moment. That used to be a large part of what my blog was about, but for now, the inspiration is gone - it would feel clumsy and ugly.
No doubt the dreamer in me will resurface at some point. I'll let you know.
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To link to this blog (hotdreamer1000) use [blog hotdreamer1000] in your messages.
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