some thoughts then?
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Posted:Apr 3, 2006 10:36 am
Last Updated:Apr 3, 2006 10:59 am
3701 Views
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So yesterday was yet another interesting day...
I spent the most part of the day hanging out with that one tall guy dressed in black. Just chillin watchin movies talking about shit that matters and some shit that doesn't and of course fucking...
He asked me one question (of many) that I really decided to put some thought into...
He asked me why I'm still single... lol
Honestly I've really never given it that much thought. I mean I've been asked that before but I usually just shrug it off as whatever.
So this is some of my thoughts, um an answer of sorts...
Most don’t really get me.
I don’t and wont fit neatly into any pre conceived stereotypes.
As my best friend(s) say 'I can change just like the damn weather...' lol
I'm not bi polar or anything (well I do have a touch of A.D.D). I get bored easily, and I love attention (not the kind you get for being stupid or doing stupid shit).
I can be bright and sunny sometimes and dark and cold at other times. I may go the whole day without saying anything and sometimes I can talk for hours. Sometimes I get in my 50's happy homemaker mood and I will clean everything in sight and cook all kinds of stuff, but at other times I wont do much of anything around the house... um for like weeks...lol
Sometimes I want to dance and sing, and sometimes I wouldn't be caught singing or dancing. I like all kinds of music except for country (well there are a few exceptions... ie Johnny cash).
I like to be alone a lot of times but sometimes I love to be out with people. I don’t put a lot of value in material things (I've never really had much anyway). I'm usually happy with simple childish things (not ).
So...
I basically can be a contradiction. I think I'm so simple that I come across as complex...lol.
and I guess some cant handle that..
another thing is I think a lot of the guys that I've met are little bitches anyway when it comes to commitment. I mean just the thought of it causes their dicks to shrivel and they get all weird and shit.
but being vague and speaking for myself I can honestly say that commitment means different things to different people.
I always ask guys I know what first comes to mind when they hear commitment... lol
also I'm really not that old yet and I still have a lot of shit I need to do..
...so um I guess that's some of the reason why I'm still single.
- 
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back to the grind
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Posted:Mar 27, 2006 9:10 pm
Last Updated:Mar 28, 2006 2:45 am
3606 Views
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Ok so my great coffee induced vacation plan didn't quite work out but I still had a cool vacation. A fun alcohol induced vacation... lol
I didn't get to travel to a warm place (unless you consider the inside of a house a warm place)...
Even though I did plan a trip to Vegas (the travel agent had put together the perfect package it was for a great price) but my friend backed out at the last minute... urrgh.
I did meet some cool new people and did some fun things with those cool new people... lol. Also I got to spend some fun time a new friend. Ummm a hot new friend...
*Sigh*
Well today was my first day back to work & school... and i realized why I wanted that vacation so bad... cause shit i hate school, and work isn't much better... lol
Well as my co-worker was so kind to mention to me... I probably wont be getting anymore time off anytime soon... but it's all good I still have those Saturdays off in the summer to look forward to 
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valentine's day poem
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Posted:Feb 14, 2006 4:04 pm
Last Updated:Feb 14, 2011 3:48 pm
3780 Views
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Fuck Valentine's Day
author unknown
Hearts and roses and kisses galore...
What the hell is all that shit for?
People get mushy and start acting queer
It is definitely the most annoying day of the year
This day needs to get the hell over with and pass
Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid's ass
I'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak
And wear all black for the rest of the week
Guys act all sweet, but it will soon fade
For all they are doing is trying to get laid
The arrow Cupid shot at me must have not hit
Because I think love is a crock of shit
So here's my story... what else can I say?
Love bites my ass...Fuck Valentine's Day!
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I just thought this was too funny
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random thoughts and maybe a real vacation
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Posted:Jan 13, 2006 12:45 pm
Last Updated:Mar 7, 2007 2:32 pm
3686 Views
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it all started because I hate working in the mornings (it's soo boring...)
After my 3rd cup of coffee and finishing most my work. I decide to read something (I figure why not read I am in a library).
So I'm reading some stuff about travel... and I'm thinking I do have some vacation time coming up soon...
then I moved on to reading some erotica (not lovey dovey romance real erotica... written porn)...
then I move on to reading some books about hydrogeology... and bam it hits me I need a real vacation (not just time off but to actually go somewhere).
So I have formed a plan of sorts.
I will go on vacation to a warm place and maybe make some new friends... but the only things lacking from my brilliant plan, a place to go, if I should invite someone to go with me, and what to do when I get there...
(also I'm working on a limited budget so my options are kinda limited)...
so after all this mental activity I realize 2 things, I have only 3 more hours of work left and I should probably cut back on the coffee in the morning...
TGIF
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vacation from happiness
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Posted:Jan 10, 2006 9:43 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
3169 Views
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so this is another relationship rant... (yeah like we haven't heard this shit before)
I really really really like this one guy but I'm starting to wonder why. He's like the master of mixed messages. He's driving me crazy and the thing is it seems like making me crazy is his plan or something!
He does crazy shit that pisses me off, when he does nice things I get the feeling that he's just trying to pacify me... To keep me around...
So now I'm the fool... well I'm sure feelin that way right now.
Sometimes I just think if I try harder everything will be alright... maybe if I tell him how i feel things will be better...
BUT I must remind myself I'm not a fucking therapist I can change his ass, I can't spend endless time analyzing his ass trying to figure out what his damn problem is! because there is no fucking logic to this shit.
There will be no more ultimatums. I want someone who actually wants to be with ME. I'm finally tired of this shit!! (they told me that I would get tired eventually.)
So he may disappear... I have to remind myself that isn't a big loss. There are way too many people out there I could be meeting.
So what do I have to say now...
*I hope he will consider talking to someone (a.k.a getting some professional help)... he has way too many issues he needs to deal with. Like pushing people away but expecting them to stay... um hello that would suggest you have a problem.
*never throw around the word "love" if you dont mean that shit... even if someone says it to you it doesn't mean you have to say it back especially if you don't mean it.
(*sigh* I ment it I just wish he wouldn't have said it to me... lol yeah he loved something but that's not really love)
*sigh*
I'm tired now... I think I'll go work on my blanket (I've been crocheting again... it helps pass the time when I'm not working, doing school shit, or "other" stuff.
damn I really did alot of writing...
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new toy
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Posted:Dec 28, 2005 10:07 pm
Last Updated:Mar 7, 2007 2:32 pm
3452 Views
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So I'm having lots of fun learning how to use my DV camcorder that I got for x-mas!
I'm like a big with a new toy... now I just need something to record
suggestions?
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post x-mas...
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Posted:Dec 25, 2005 11:01 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
3128 Views
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So I had a fairly merry Christmas...
I didn't get much as far as presents go but that was expected (It's just not as much fun when you grow up).
Spending time with the family wasn't so bad... no big party this year. No crazy drunk relatives fighting and basically making asses of themselves.
I did change my hair again (well that actually was a present for and from my army friend.) He always gives me grief when I cut my hair... After 6 years you'd think he get used to me cutting it... oh well as I say change is good. He said he also sent me a present (probably will get here Tuesday) wonder what it is ... the money for getting my hair done was nice enough, He's being very nice he must be single again... lol
My "sometimes friend" was very friendly and bought me some perfume and Pokemon XD (2 things from my list), which was very nice.
We also went to the movies to see Fun with Dick and Jane (it was ok... it had its moments).
But the reason for me referring to him as my "sometimes friend" came up again... basically he's an asshole by nature and he couldn't help himself but act all shitty again. *sigh* I still don't know why I bother.
(Well actually I do know why I bother the dick is really good... damn him and his fucking skillz)
I'm going to hit the after x-mas sales around town I still want that DV Camcorder. Maybe I'll get some others to star in a New Years movie.. lol (and yes it would be an xxx movie). 
Well anyway I'm going to enjoy the rest of my holiday cause I'm damn sure not looking forward to going back to work Tuesday... 
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snow and cold... aka winter in Wisconsin
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Posted:Dec 11, 2005 6:16 am
Last Updated:Mar 7, 2007 2:33 pm
2831 Views
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It's cold here dammit! and I'm tired of shoveling snow!
sigh... I feel better now that I've gotten that out.
anyway
I still haven't finished my holiday shopping. That's moslty because I dont have much money LOL, but it's also because I'm not really good at shopping
honestly though I'm really running into a wall trying to figure out what to get my mom (she's one of those people that has everything)... I guess I could just do what I usually do and get her some jewelry.
I bought a friend of mine some things from Fredricks but, I left the box laying around (i should have hidden it) and of course she cant resist a shinny gift box with her name on it so she opened it... lol. now i have to get her something else. But It wasn't all bad she did model it for me...
Now if I could just get presents..
I've been kinda good this year so maybe santa will bring me something...
like someone to help keep me warm...
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black friday shopping fun or maddness... depending
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Posted:Nov 25, 2005 2:38 pm
Last Updated:Mar 7, 2007 2:33 pm
2785 Views
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So today I went out into the shopping maddness...
there was nothing I wanted that would warrant getting up before day though. So i went later in the day after the huge morning rush. Anyway I hate crowds and I'm practacally broke so I didn't get much just some shoes and candy. I have updated my wish list though... saw some really nice things that I would want...
Anyway it's snowing and kinda cold so i'm going to enjoy the rest of my day off from work inside eating leftovers...
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naughty...
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Posted:Nov 17, 2005 11:27 pm
Last Updated:Mar 7, 2007 2:31 pm
3508 Views
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so... I've been a really bad student lately. I really dont like school much, you'd think that would give me an incentive to hurry up and finish already... but it hasn't.
I guess I just lack discipline... um maybe I just need a good spanking... lol
It's been awhile since I've had one, maybe I need one...
I think I'll just ponder on that for awhile....
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Dublin Mudslide...
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Posted:Nov 9, 2005 3:33 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
2738 Views
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on one of my random trips to the grocery store I actually bought a new icecream flavor... Ben&Jerry's Dublin Mudslide... and I'm here to say this stuff is fantabolous!
I've been eating alot of icecream lately. I think I'll be ok, I still practically walk everywhere i go, so the pounds wont start adding up... lol
So basically what I'm sayin is sometimes change is really good...
ummmm this stuff is good...
Dublin Mudslide
Irish Cream Liqueur Ice Cream with Chocolate, Chocolate Chip Cookies and a Coffee Fudge Swirl
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forget ice cream...i need a drink....
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Posted:Nov 6, 2005 10:05 pm
Last Updated:Jul 28, 2009 9:14 pm
2688 Views
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I'd think by now I'd have a black belt in arguing, but alas I just got shut down again by another asshole. I guess i was so shocked to hear the mess that was comming out of his mouth... I was actually left speechless.
So i have to ask myself why do I set myslef up to fail like this.
The asshole was great at first but he soon showed how faulty his ass was. But instead of giving him walking papers, I put up with him (he really was a great lay), but alas when there was no more sex there was no more purpose for him to be around.
So being the better bitch I tried to be civil, but he went and said some truly faulty mess and pissed me off...
now i'm super pissed and being angry doesn't suit me well. I'm more of a "make love not war" kinda gal...
*sigh*
I need a drink....
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happy halloween?
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Posted:Oct 31, 2005 9:33 pm
Last Updated:Mar 5, 2006 9:27 pm
2516 Views
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So I had fun yesterday...
Got out did stuff. Not everyday you get to dress up in a bee costume and everyone thinks it's cool...
My "boy friend" said he missed me and he was sorry for being an ass... i told him to go fuck himself, he decided to fuck me instead... i guess that turned out ok.
today kinda sucked...
had to work and while at work someone broke into my car. Then i lost my lab data... so my report is going to be shit... oh well shit happens.
I made a jack-o-lantern it's kinda cool.
Now All i need to do is eat all this halloween candy 
happy halloween
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