What would you do for love?
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Posted:May 25, 2013 9:54 pm
Last Updated:Jun 26, 2013 3:29 pm
15047 Views
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I heard this phase too many times. "I'd die for you." or "I'd take a bullet for you." to express how much love I had for you.
Fuck that.
That means nothing. Oooo, you'd get shot? That's an instantaneous action, instantaneous thought. That's EASY to do. You want to show her how much you love her? Then show her! Spend time, listen to her, no ... ACTUALLY listen to her, have conversations. Support her, even if she is wrong. Voice your concerns and doubts in private, calmly, as someone that loves and cares about her. Help her. When she needs help, she needs help, but usually won't ask for it. Recognize, show her you can tell when she needs help BEFORE she asks, give her a hug when she needs one, BEFORE she asks. Tell her you love her everyday, but more than that, SHOW her you love her.
True love isn't shown in the split second decision to put yourself in harm's way. It's in the seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades where you truly show her what she means to you.
Love
-out-
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And they were "security (?!?) guards"???
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Posted:May 24, 2013 9:04 pm
Last Updated:Jun 5, 2013 9:09 pm
13565 Views
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I went to get supper late tonight (same day as my previous post) . Went in to pick up my carry-out order, saw what I thought was a hostess helping a person, so I started to walk over to the carry-Out pick up area, like I always do here. The hostess was a security guard, who almost grabbed me from behind. He stammered "I need to see your ID sir" his eyes were even to my collarbone, his chest was about as thick as my arm. My arm had been annoying me with pain, so I wasn't in the most jovial mood. I shot him a Get The Fuck Away From Me look, and stated "WHAT???" The security guard looked like he just crapped his pants, and meekly asked for my ID. I explained that I was just picking up a carry-out order, and he quickly let me pass. Leaving another security guard took over for the little one, this guy was large, flabby and tallish, reminded me of a red headed teddy bear. I just wanted to pinch his cheek and comment on how cute he looked ... lol ... Guys, security isn't your thing ...
When I got home, my wife laughed with me, then informed me that I still had my work clothes on, my front looked like I just won a fight, my back was ripped and bloodied, kinda looked like I got stabbed. Yeah, I scared the shit out of that little guard.
After eating, I took my shower, that shirt will be going into the trash, and my back was gorged out from that tree limb. I had completely forgotten about that!
The sad thing, this isn't too uncommon.
Guess my body is more beat up than I first thought. Going into repair mode ... a healing sleep.
horny, so very horny. Being sick or beat up makes me incredibly horny ... mind is insistent but the flesh is weak.
Tired Horny Sleep
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It was another work your ass off friday.
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Posted:May 24, 2013 3:46 pm
Last Updated:May 24, 2013 4:34 pm
14290 Views
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I was trying to get my arm healed up. It felt really good this morning, really good ... the cum stained sheets will attest to that  
I get to work, my supervisor that was ok with letting me heal up had called in ... hell almost everyone had called in. Our tree inspector is running the show, and puts everyone into one semi-large crew. This inspector is an Ass-hole ... yes, with a Capital A. Just to get his kicks off, he tells me to drive one of our bucket trucks and cut down 3 trees with it. By our first break, we have 7 trees on the ground, my right arm is throbbing with pain (still I'm able to ignore it and work through it) my back is tore up, one section of tree that I was roping down, had a back limb that I hadn't noticed, which fell onto my back and ripped across it. Shit happens, live and learn and don't repeat. I also had a deep gouge in my left forearm. I don't know how or when that happened, I grabbed a limb getting ready to cut it, and saw streaks of blood going down my arm, that's when I first saw it ... lick it and stick it, heal it later. It ended up scabbing up pretty fast, several bits of dirt in it though. After work I pieced out all the dirt, washed and anti-baterial gelled it ... no need to get an infection ... it'll probably be healed up by monday/tuesday. Nothing new, I bleed or bruise every day at work.
When cleaning up all the mess, our inspector decided to stop by and tell everyone what to do. He is very prone to power tripping and the mentality of my way is the right way and any other way is idiotic. He likes telling people how to do every aspect, he lectured me for 2 minutes on how to use a rake ... really??? I saw our trucks leave a couple of large ruts, he saw me see them, and told me not to use a pitchfork to fix those ruts. Normally, we stick a pitchfork in the ground near the rut, and pull the dirt in the rut up, then smoosh the dirt from the side under the raised rut dirt. This makes a shallow dent, and prevents from tripping and hurting themselves. He told me not to, I asked why (truthfully I was very confused by that request) he just stared at me and told me "because that doesn't do anything, you just leave an air pocket under the dirt that falls back down within a couple of hours." Huh? Well, it does if you just raise the dirt and then do nothing more ... which is pointless ... So I informed him that we smoosh the side dirt under the raised dirt to ... and realized he wasn't listening to a single word I had said ... fine I'll do it his way and leave chipped up chunks of wood over the grass to even out the ground ... in a few months the wood will turn to dirt and grass will grow over that ... whatever, ... he wanted it that way. Had a super-short lunch, and no second break, running around everywhere to get limbs that had split out of trees or actually fallen down.
Finally done with work, barely had time to check my blogs throughout the day ... that makes me sad  no chatting with anyone
My arm is still throbbing, maybe by Sunday it'll feel good again ... why didn't I tell him about my arm being hurt? ... out on a crew of rough men ... claiming to be hurt makes you weak in your co-workers eyes, and makes you a tempting target for hazing ... before I started working there, co-workers would effectively "rappart" [guess that word automatically gets denied] those that were way too cocky (3-4 jump them inside the chipper truck, remove his pants and smack his ass with their dicks, no penetration 'cause they "weren't gay?!?") ... times have changed and most know that HR would fire the hell out of anyone (ever since we lost a co-worker who cut a hole in a donut box stuck his dick in there and went around to the city mowing crews showing it ... anybody want a donut!  ) but I believe our inspector liked the old time-honored ways ... made real men and not pansies. ?!?!?!? ... seriously ...
I seriously doubt anyone would want to try that with me though ... the last person that was fucking with me I threw down onto the ground, but everyone thought I had performed a backbreaker wrestling move on him ... not to mention being the tallest and strongest person in the department, and that I'm nice and don't piss off anyone.
Yeah, don't show that you're weak when crews are mixed up ... bad stuff could happen.
Wow ... when I use my computer to type, I sure write a bit more ... lol
-out-
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Gaa, this bites hard
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Posted:May 23, 2013 9:28 am
Last Updated:May 25, 2013 11:32 am
15123 Views
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As mentioned in my previous post, I am giving my right arm a break. This brings up a new problem. I am extremely right handed. I can use my left, but only if it's assisting my right hand. I prefer to drink with my right hand, but if I'm holding something (or groping a breast ) then I can drink fine with my left; however, if my right hand isn't doing anything, then it's extremely tough for me to even drink with my left hand. In fighting, I'm dangerous with my left hand when dual wielding swords, but I can't do a single sword with my left. I choose an odd fighting style and rocked it. A large mace in my left hand, dagger in my right. I block with the mace inverted, tear their back up with the dagger, long arms makes it easy to get around their shield, when they break away to save themselves from my little dagger, I wonk them hard with the mace, over and over. Most people aren't used to defending that side and just get pummeled, if they start blocking, then I move back in with the dagger. I was quite deadly with that style.
Anyway, before my reminiscing, this bites having to use my left hand all the time now.
Are you right handed, left handed, ambidextrous? How good are you at using your off-hand?
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Ok, fine, I'm hurt, time to heal.
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Posted:May 23, 2013 8:18 am
Last Updated:May 25, 2013 11:41 am
14293 Views
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It's my right arm, just below the elbow, I think it started the tues before the last. Tough to tell, either I don't feel pain, or I ignore it. It's strange, carrying a bottle of water, it hurts. Yesterday we cut a fallen tree off of a guy's shed, tossing the brush over the fence, when we got to the large base part, I cut it into three parts, my supervisor told me that they were too big and to cut each part two more times, I just laughed, lifted and threw each part over the fence, clearing the fence with ease ... No pain, but move a bottle of water to take a drink, pain ...
I'll let it rest for a couple of days, then it'll be good again.
Lol, maybe I hurt it whacking off ... When I do that, I tend to be rough and vigorous, maybe too rough and vigorous ...
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HNW
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Posted:May 22, 2013 5:35 am
Last Updated:May 24, 2013 3:10 pm
15095 Views
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Duct tape? Guess I should've looked first. Maybe I'll do a part II later
Do you think I could be a stripper? Could you imagine me as a stripper? Or would I have to get a police uniform first? Would full body shaving be mandatory? 'cause I rock my German fur ...
Inquiring minds want to know
-out-
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8
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Delicates in the storm.
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Posted:May 21, 2013 11:04 am
Last Updated:May 22, 2013 3:53 pm
14484 Views
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These are one type of our delicate flowers called bachelor button. We just had a tornado / high winds blow through. I've been cleaning up tree limbs and trees that were broken from the storm. Yet look at these delicate flowers, they withstood winds that broke limbs from mighty oaks. Their appearance belies the true strength from within.
You, too, have a hidden strength. When the road grows tough, and you feel weary, remember this flower and recognize that you have much strength, as much strength as needed, to continue on.
Grow on my little flower, grow on.
-out-
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Mixed feeling and disappointments
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Posted:May 21, 2013 6:02 am
Last Updated:May 21, 2013 6:45 pm
15136 Views
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I'm feeling strange, and I don't like not recognizing my own feelings. I played, it was great, unique, wonderful. My body was beat up from the work your ass off friday, so my body wasn't able to keep up with my desires or lust. Still, I think she had a wonderful time so I won't beat myself up too much. It's been a while since I last played, I think around eight months. My wife was happy for me, though jealousy reared it's ugly head, she stifled it pretty well, but I saw. She got used to being my only one. She played, it was quick, I never got to weigh in on my take on him. In the afternoon, I didn't have enough time to prepare myself, but she needed it. It's been a while for her too, about two months. I had to take care of the boys, one was being as annoying as possible, and I had to do errands that I really didn't want to. I visited the dr, had some chest pressure that concerned me, wanted to get a recent clean std test, but had the , do I couldn't. My jealousy raised it's ugly head, I berated myself, she needed it. I know that I'm not a cuckold, but I was feeling like one. A mix of excitement and pain that I wasn't "good enough". Usually when she returns from playing, I ravage her sexually ... remind her that I'm damn good. I couldn't this time, it was early evening, boys up having supper. I denied myself and felt bad about it. Found out he was longer and better than me. I don't mind playing second fiddle, but third chaffed me more than I should have let it. And how she finds all these super large guys is beyond me. We talked, sorted through our feelings. Later that night he got her again. It brought me back to her first time playing, I had the same anxiety, self doubt, concerns. I knew everything that had happened. All the stuff she didn't really want me to know, no lying, neither of us will do that. She was afraid it would hurt me, and it did, but I already knew it. Her new friend has turned into a douche bag in my eyes. Not enough for me to forbid her from seeing him again, but I had to voice the five giant red flags I saw. It was hard to do, hard for me to see the hurt on her face when she realized how he played her, his wants and what he is doing.
She is fun, I am safe, the best option. But she desires the fun guy ... I cannot be the fun guy, I cannot be the douche bag. Is that why I have so much trouble meeting women? Because I am the boring safe choice?
Our bond is still strong, nothing will change that. I hope that her new friend becomes more considerate of her as a person and not a fuck toy. Otherwise I might have to intervene ...
My emotions are a tangled mess right now, just like the first time she played. Back then, I wasn't ready for the truth, I am this time, but I don't like it just the same. I don't see a way for her to not be hurt.
Fuck drama. I'm sorry to bore / concern my readers, but I have to get this off my chest. And yes, again, my wife and I have talked about all of this, I just need to voice my feelings and let them go.
-out-
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Things that are irritating, and a challenge
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Posted:May 16, 2013 8:20 am
Last Updated:May 19, 2013 8:11 am
14946 Views
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Gosh it's been a crazy week. Had stupid co-workers this morning. For one third of the time we've been working, their incompetence has caused myself and the other competent worker to stand around watching them ... well, fail. I will save that for it's own post. My warrior muscles has been twitching for three weeks now. I need to get out and release my inner badass. It almost caused me to hurt some guy on a bicycle, I was leaving a gas station at night, he came from the side of the building, hopped the small flight of stairs within arms reach of me. It was night, surprised the heck out of me, took about two seconds for him to be next to me, battle instincts took over, thought he was about to attack me, I turned my shoulders, snapped my arm out to punch him right in the throat, then realized that it was just an idiot and stopped myself from hitting and hurting him. Ok, that was a tangent I wasn't planning on going to ... lol.
I have about four posts I want to do, along with taking some HNW photos, and I want to draw ... I've wanted to draw, since I got a scanner, to share with my beloved watchers and silent lurkers, just haven't had the time. I haven't mentioned anything about the Wichita M&G and I was challenged to. I should invite my hutch friend, speaking of the M&G, my wife was really looking forward to going, but people have quit where she works, so she's been stuck working till close, then is totally exhausted. I don't see it likely that she could, or would want to, make it, rather relax from this crazy week
My phone's auto incorrect is happening more often and more bizarre. About every other word is wrong or missing letters. It turned "show" into "why soul gf" I mean ... WTF????? Ok, that's enough venting. My last final is tonight. I surprised my wife last night by mowing the grass, and cooking a tasty chicken stir fry.
Ok, my challenge: At one point tomorrow, I want you to stop, take a moment, take a deep breath, and think, what am I doing this for, what makes this soo important? Then you can carry on. This crazy thing we call life makes it easy to lose track of what truly is important.
Enjoy, and have a safe weekend! 
-out-
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8
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Found the class, just not the teacher
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Posted:May 10, 2013 12:28 pm
Last Updated:May 11, 2013 2:54 pm
14287 Views
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For my first final, we were supposed to meet at the college headquarters building. For the first 15 weeks of class, for the discussion post two weeks ago everyone confirmed where the final was. If you didn't pass the final, then you flunk the class, so it's a big deal. One week before the final, the teacher says meet you at the main place for the final. I wasn't sure if that was the headquarters or the student union (different building) I show up to where we were told to go, found about 20 other students, just no teacher. We called her and found out that it was the student union. People were sooo pissed. Seems there were classes meeting where we were supposed to be, and she didn't find that out till the week before. She made the mistake in thinking that a bunch of on-line students actually know anything about on-campus student life. No reason to get all pissed and bent out of shape, that'll lead to doing bad on the final. Now I'm pretty quick, usually only a couple of class-mates turn in their tests before I finish. Shoot, three fourth of the people there were done and gone before I finished. Means they hurried, and haste tends to lead to silly mistakes. All the uptight people were gone, no surprise there. Ah well, I think the learning experience is the most important, and I'm sure everyone learned new stuff from this course, even if it doesn't show on the final.
-out-
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And here comes the Walking Dead
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Posted:May 9, 2013 8:33 pm
Last Updated:May 11, 2013 2:46 pm
14363 Views
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I recentally came across the walking dead. I've seen drugged out people walking on a sidewalk that had no clue that they were even walking. I've seen soul-less eyes in Wal-mart just going through the motions of life. Those weren't walking dead, those were empty shells of humanity. Nope, I truly saw walking dead. It happened early last week, we were cutting down a large dead elm tree. It was an easy cut as it was leaning towards the street, no need to put a rope in it or have people pull the rope to make sure it falls the correct direction, all it needed was a large, good notch to get it to fall into the street, causing no damage and easy to cut up and throw into the wood chipper. We had traffic coned off the street and sidewalks, no one could get in the danger area without driving or walking through cones ... still, myself and my supervisor were watching the streets to make sure some idiot didn't just drive over our traffic cones and try to get themselves killed all in the name of speed and REALLY wanting to go down that street. Don't laugh or discount it, it happens quite a bit, people just drive over our cones. When we work in busy streets, we don't trust the cones, we leave our giant flatbed truck at the end, anyone running into it will probably die, but none of their idiotic ignorance will hurt any of us. (we still leave plenty of cones out, so anyone halfway paying attention will change lanes or slow down long before the flatbed, still several people drive over our cones and screech on their brakes before hitting the flatbed, something that we are assured would not happen for a worker standing with their back turned) Anyway, back to the walking dead and the big dead elm tree we were cutting down. The two of us were watching for traffic and the tree. When a dead tree crashes down, sticks break off and fly a little ways, we don't want to have a stick hit us in the face, and if the tree doesn't fall correctly, it's important to see it happening so we can get out of the way. Anyway, the tree is tilting, right before the free fall, when the walking dead appear. RIGHT behind my supervisor, some guy walks right past the traffic cone, brushes past my supervisor (who's arms were out ready to stop anyone) and walks RIGHT AT THE TREE as it's falling. It crashes with the ends of the limbs hitting about 2 inches from this guys face. ... you would think, coming 2 inches from painful death would affect a person, but no, this guy is walking dead, he just keeps walking on like nothing happened. I saw his eyes, he was not high or drugged out of his mind, he had a soul ... he just wasn't bothered with anything, ANYTHING around him. He will get hit by a car one of these days, it was a shocking surprise that he didn't get crushed under the 8 tons of trees that crashed down, but to not even notice the cloud of sticks that blew past and into him ...
On a side note, people are really stupid about getting under limbs that we are in the midst of cutting. About 6 times a year, a person will try to hurry through our work-zone. Maybe they think that if they are only in the zone for a little while it will keep them safe, dunno, but we've seen 10 lb cut limb stumps act like plinko bouncing around through all the tree limbs on it's fall, no one knows where it's going to land, but it'll be inside the work-zone kind of nearish to the tree's base, and there's a guy on a bicycle hustling through the work zone right at the moment that chunk is about to hit the last limb and crash down to the ground ... those chunks are called widow-makers ... really any tree piece that would kill a man is called a widow-maker. Our hard hats are somewhat protective, but if enough weight hits the hat, your neck will still get smashed, even if you head doesn't, so we don't trust the hat, we trust our eyes and stay out of the way. Anyway, I've yet to see an idiot actually get hit, they always seem to get really lucky that the chunk bounces the opposite way each time. One time, a co-worker saved me from getting into serious trouble. He saved a four year old from getting crushed by a limb I was cutting. A grandmother (that didn't speak english ...) was walking on the sidewalk across the street fom where we were raising trees by cutting the low limbs that were getting hit by traffic. I had just started on a large long limb, when this grandmother decided to cross the street, she pushed her four year old grandson ahead of here, through our traffic cones, between two co-workers whom were shouting at her to stop. I couldn't hear anything with my ear protection and a loud chainsaw eating the tree limb, right as I finished cutting it, I looked out and saw the four year old right under it, his grandmother about to step under it also, as my co-worker grabbed them both and swung them behind him, protecting them with his body ... the limb barely missed him, would've smashed both of them if he hadn't grabbed them. That shook me for a couple of months, and eroded my trust in humanity's common sense.
... There are walking dead among us, having apathy towards everything else outside their little bubble. They are worse then the drugged out zombies or the soul-less shells. They are waiting to die, and couldn't care anything about anyone, some of them will take people that care with them.
Be safe ... think ... be kind,
-out-
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